Captain Underpants 9
by Brockster550
Summary: Just when George, Harold and Em didn't think their luck could get any worse, they cross paths with their old enemy, Professor Poopypants (who is now Tippy Tinkletrousers), and he's out for revenge. What kind of tricks does Tippy have up his sleeve to accomplish his goal? Find out by reading the story. No copyright intended!


Captain Underpants 9: The Terrifying Return Of Tippy Tinkletrousers

fanfic by Brockster550

This fanfic is all I own, no copyright intended

Ch. 1

George, Harold and Emily

This is George Beard, Harold Hutchins and Emily Krupp. George is the kid on the right with the tie and the flat top. Harold is the one on the left with the t-shirt and the bad haircut. Emily is the only girl in the middle with shoulder-length blonde hair kept straight, a polka dot blouse and a red overall skirt. Remember that now.

At the end of our last adventure, George, Harold and Em (the nickname George and Harold settled with for Emily) were approached by a few police officers (including the police chief) and asked the three if they've seen a fugitive, who happened to be Professor Pippy Poopypants (who is now Tippy Tinkletrousers) on a wanted poster. George and Em were irritably scolding Harold for causing something bad to happen after dealing with their evil twins, and Captain Underpants' evil counterpart. The police, naturally, were unaware of this, since they didn't read the last story. All they were concerned about was to catch the fugitive and put him back behind bars. Just as Em was starting to answer, she, George and Harold spotted a giant pair of robotic legs walking toward them. The mad scientist emerged from the zipper, freezing the cops with an ice ray.

Then, he turned toward George, Harold, Em, Sulu and Crackers, in an attempt to seek revenge. So he starts chasing our heroes, shooting a countless number of ice beams, but luckily missing with each one. If you read the last epic novel, then you know that this was how the story ended, but it wasn't supposed to end this way. You see, Tippy and his ice beam zapping robo-trousers weren't supposed to be there at all. They had come from the future, rudely interrupting what should've happened. Unfortunately for Tippy, this simple act of sending himself back in time would ultimately prove to be a fatal mistake, one that would destroy the entire planet, more or less. But before I can tell you that story, I have to tell you this story.

Ch. 2

The Banana Cream Pie Paradox

Time machines are awesome inventions. There's no doubt about that. But they can be dangerous, due to a strong possibility that a time paradox could occur. Even one teenie, tiny, itsy-bitsy change could profoundly affect the future. This is what scientists refer to as the _Banana Cream Pie Paradox_.

Imagine, if you will, that a scientist from the year 2020 baked a banana cream pie using bananas that he harvested with his own banana tree. Now let's suppose that this scientist took his banana cream pie with him into a time machine that zapped him back in time, to the year 1936.

Now imagine that this scientist stepped out of the time machine and accidentally tripped, smashing his pie into the face of a lady sitting at some fancy garden dinner party. Now suppose that the lady angrily jumped up and wiped a handful of the gooey banana cream pie that had filled her face and threw it back at the scientist. Then, as soon as the lady threw it, the scientist ducks, causing the banana goo to smack into the face of a gentleman standing nearby. Then a waitress decided to point to the gentleman and laugh.

Then the angry gentleman wiped the banana goo off his face, and smooshed it into the waitress' face.

"Well," said the waitress. "I've never been so insulted in my life!"

"You ought to get out more often, lady! N'yuk! N'yuk! N'yuk!" said a chubby bald guy.

"Why don't you mind your own business, birdbrain!" said another man as he poked the chubby man in his eyes.

This caused the chubby guy to fall backwards, accidentally falling onto the scientist's banana tree (which was just a tiny sapling in 1936). The tree snapped in half and died. Now, if the scientist's tree died in 1936, it could never grow up to a full grown tree, and thus, could never produce bananas. Consequently, the scientist would not have had the main ingredient to make his banana cream pie in the year 2020. This also meant that the banana cream pie would never come to exist. Many scientists throughout the centuries have pondered the Banana Cream Pie Paradox and have come to the conclusion that people should be really, really, really, REALLY, _REALLY_ careful when they use time machines. Because one simple change in the past could affect the future with disastrous results... and possibly destroy the entire planet.

Ch. 3

The Real Ending To Our Last Adventure

As we already know, George, Harold and Em were approached by the police chief and four more cops, asking the three if they had spotted the mad scientist who changed his name to Tippy Tinkletrousers. But what would have happened if Tippy hadn't rudely interrupted what was supposed to happen in the original timeline? Well, sit back and get comfortable, because you're just about to find out!

After George, Harold and Em answered the police chief's question, they were escorted into the back seat of a police car, confusing the trio.

"What's going on," asked Em, baffled. "Are we being arrested?"

"No ma'am," said the police chief. "We just figured you might need a ride home."

"Oh okay," said George. "We might just make it home in time for dinner."

"Yeah," agreed Harold. "I'm glad everything is working out perfectly this time!"

George and Em just gave Harold a dirty look, seeing that in their last adventure, Harold just kept triggering some sort of taboo every time he said something like that. So the three got into the backseat of a police car, with Harold sitting in the middle, George sitting in the seat by Harold's right and Em in the seat by Harold's left. Little did the three know that their lives were about to take a shocking turn for the worst.

About ten to fifteen minutes later, the police car stopped outside in front of the house that is 114 Curmudgeon Drive. This was the house where the school principal, Mr. Krupp (who is also Emily's uncle) lived. The three (Em especially) started getting an awful feeling that something bad was going to happen. Officer McWiggly (who was sitting in the front passenger seat) got out and approached Mr. Krupp, who was cleaning up the toilet paper in his yard.

"Benjamin," said Officer McWiggly. "Your niece has been found!"

"Oh, thank you officer!" said Mr. Krupp with relief in his voice.

So Officer McWiggly walked back to the police car and opened the door to the backseat where Em was sitting. She got out, with her legs trembling, with her uncle jogging toward her, hugging her, with tears flowing out. Em couldn't help but hug her uncle back.

"Oh Emily," Mr. Krupp sobbed, while continuing to hug his niece. "I'm glad you're safe, and unharmed!"

"I'm alright, uncle," stated Em. "I don't understand what's going on here!"

"Why, you having been kidnapped, of course!" said a familiar voice, that turned out to be Melvin Sneedly, who is not only the Jerome Horwitz Elementary School brainiac, but also notorious for being the school tattle tale.

"I wasn't kidnapped!" said Em, outraged, also shooting Melvin a glare.

Mr. Krupp's temper was worsening, giving George and Harold his angriest look ever. George and Harold were terrified. Em gasped and gave her uncle pleading eyes, which he ignored. Melvin took advantage of the situation by pointing his finger at George and Harold.

"They kidnapped Emily," Melvin fibbed. "They intended to ransom her, just so they could ruin Mr. Krupp's life, as well as my life!"

"No, they didn't," Em tried clarifying. "George, Harold and I were just taking a walk!"

"Kidnapped?!" yelled Mr. Krupp at George and Harold. "HOW... DARE... YOU!"

"We would never do that to Em!" said George and Harold, trying to keep their tempers in check.

"George and Harold also blackmailed Emily," Melvin continued lying. "They are out to ruin her mind. They blackmailed her into helping them bluff their way out of trouble!"

"No, that's not true!" said Em with desperation in her voice.

"See, Emily," said Mr. Krupp. "I kept trying to steer you away from George and Harold. They're bad news, trying to turn you into a delinquent."

Em shook her head frantically (as if to say that George and Harold never kidnapped her), which her uncle ignored. He turned toward George and Harold, with his face red with anger.

"You two," said Mr. Krupp through gritted teeth. "I can't believe you two would kidnap my niece."

"We didn't." said George. "Melvin is lying..."

"Don't make up any wild tales about Melvin," yelled Mr. Krupp. "He's a good egg, and you know that! You two have ruined Emily's mind... for the last... TIIIIMMMMEEEE!"

"Have fun in the big house, you two!" said Melvin with glee.

With that 'evidence,' the police chief ordered George and Harold outside for a minute, where he cuffed George, and Officer McWiggly cuffed Harold, read them their rights and dragged them to separate police cars. Em could only watch in sadness as the police cars drove away, taking George and Harold to the Piqua Juvenile Detention Center. Em ran after the police, desperate to get the real truth to the police, to no avail. It seemed that the faster she tried to catch up, the faster the police cars got. She stopped at the end of Curmudgeon Drive, sadly watching the police cars drive away. As soon as the police were out of sight, Em just sat by the streetlight post, with her back leaning against it, where she buried her face into her hands, crying pretty hard. She never would've expected that this would happen, and now it seems like she'll never see George and Harold again.

A few minutes later, Melvin came strolling by, intending to (in his mind) make Em feel better (since he still has a crush on her). So he tries to put his arm around her shoulder, only for Em to grab him by the front of his shirt, yanking him close to her face, and then she gave Melvin her angriest glare ever.

"I've... had... just about... enough... of... your... _ANTICS!_ " screamed Em in a voice loud enough for the neighbors to hear. "WHAT MADE YOU THINK IT WAS OKAY TO LIE AND MANIPULATE MY UNCLE? HUH, WHAT ARE YOUR STUPID MOTIVES?"

"It's destiny," Melvin claimed. "That we will get married in the future. George and Harold were just out there to ruin that!"

"LIAR," yelled Em, pushing Melvin away. "You were just taking advantage of the situation. Now leave me alone, NOW!"

Melvin refused to take the hint, assuming that Em (in his and Mr. Krupp's opinions) needed some clarification. So he pulled her into a forced hug. In retaliation (and self-defense), Em slapped Melvin in the face, hard, allowing her to free herself from his grasp. Melvin, who is delusional, tries to pull Em into a forced hug again. This time, she stomped on Melvin's foot and kicked him in the shin.

"AHHHHH, OWW, OWW!" yelled Melvin as he grabbed his foot, hopping up and down on his uninjured foot.

This gave Em the opportunity to run away, with Melvin attempting to run after her, only to be outrun by Em, since the pain in his foot was throbbing, causing him to limp. Em was running as fast as she could, trying to put as much distance between herself and Melvin as possible. Luckily for her, there were a number of witnesses who saw what Melvin tried to do, including Stephanie Yarkoff and Jessica Gordon (both who are in the same fourth grade class as George, Harold and Em). Melvin started limping his way back to Mr. Krupp's house, hoping he can 'talk some sense' into Emily.

"I was sure Emily would see that George and Harold are being a bad influence on her," Melvin complained. "This wasn't how it should've gone!"

At just that moment, karma was about to strike at Melvin, again. Miss Anthrope, the school secretary, along with the angry old ladies, the skateboarders and the Jerome Horwitz Elementary School football team from book 7, spot Melvin, still mad that Melvin did what 'he' did to them in book 7 (unaware that it was Captain Underpants in Melvin's body who was the real cause).

"There he is!" shouted Miss Anthrope, pointing to Melvin.

"You won't get away from us, this time!" snarled the still angry quarterback.

Melvin screamed as he started running away, with limited success, since his foot was still throbbing in pain, and every time he put weight on it, the pain increased. The angry mob started chasing him again, relentlessly, still eager for revenge.

Meanwhile, the police cars stopped outside the front door of the Piqua Juvenile Detention Center. The police chief and Officer McWiggly escorted George and Harold inside, into one of the holding cells, unlocked the handcuffs on the boys, and locked up the jail cell door.

Ch. 4

Beginning The Investigations

Meanwhile, Em made it home. Downheartedly, she walked up to her room, closed the door, laid down on her bed on her stomach, buried her face into her arms on her pillow, and started crying again. She isn't sure how George and Harold are going to handle being in the juvenile detention center, and also couldn't think of any solutions to get them out. Naturally, she began fearing the worst for George and Harold. As if her hatred toward Melvin wasn't bad enough, the whole situation caused her to hate Melvin even more. After fifteen minutes, Em heard a knock on her bedroom door. She was too distraught, so, at first, she didn't answer. After the second knock, she also heard her mother.

"Emily, are you in there?" she asked.

Em reluctantly got up and opened the door to let her mother in. Seeing how upset her daughter is, Mrs. Krupp closed the door, so she can talk to Em about what made her upset.

"Emily, sweetie, what's wrong?" she asked, hugging her daughter for comfort.

"Oh, mom," sobbed Em as she hugged her mother. "Something terrible happened!"

"What happened?" asked Mrs. Krupp.

"George and Harold were arrested!" Em continued sobbing, still hugging her mother.

"What did they do?" asked Mrs. Krupp.

"Nothing," sobbed Em. "We were taking a walk when the police stopped us and asked us about an escaped convict. When they finished asking us questions, they offered to give us a ride home. But then, the police escorted us to uncle Benny's house. He was under the mistaken belief that I had been kidnapped, as he was in tears and hugged me. But George and Harold would never do that to me!"

"Did you explain the truth to Benny and the police?" asked Mrs. Krupp.

"I tried," sobbed Em. "But uncle Benny wouldn't listen. But then, Melvin Sneedly took advantage of the situation and lied about it, telling the police false stories about George and Harold kidnapping me and ransoming me, with uncle Benny believing it. I tried my best to explain the real truth, but Melvin exaggerated the situation again, claiming that George and Harold brainwashed me into helping them bluff their way out of trouble. So the police arrested George and Harold and drove them to the detention center. I ran after them a little bit, desperate to tell them the real truth, but they continued driving away."

"This Melvin," wondered Mrs. Krupp. "I don't understand what his motives are!"

"Well, he is delusional," Em continued sobbing. "He's under the impression that I'm his girlfriend, and tries to kiss me, or hug me, without my permission, assuming that I'm fine with it. He doesn't even pay attention to the fact that every time he does that, I tense up."

Em's mother wasn't very happy. She couldn't believe her daughter was frequently stalked by Melvin. Later, Em's father came home from work, and he was told what had happened. Even he wasn't happy with what he heard. He also couldn't understand why his brother tends to believe any lie he's told. Em and her parents even told George's parents and Harold's mother what had happened. Even they were mad, knowing George and Harold enjoyed it when Em was around. They vowed that they would get to the bottom of the situation.

Meanwhile, at the Piqua Juvenile Detention Center, George and Harold were sitting in an interrogation room. Soon, a law enforcement official entered to ask the two questions about their supposed kidnapping scheme. Administrator Director Hector Schmector was watching the interrogation through a one-way window. Interrogator Colter Scolder was the one who came in to ask George and Harold questions.

"Alright," said Colter Scolder, who sat down in a chair in front of the table George and Harold were sitting at. "Let's make this simple. Things will go smoother if you cooperate and answer questions."

George and Harold were more than willing to cooperate, since they knew the whole situation was a huge misunderstanding.

"Now," Colter Scolder began. "What were your motives for kidnapping Emily Krupp?"

"We didn't kidnap her!" said George. "She's our best friend!"

"Yeah, right," said Colter Scolder sarcastically. "And I'm the number one hero here!"

"It's true," stated Harold. "We would never kidnap our best friend!"

"That's not what the police were told," said Colter Scolder irritably. "Now you'd better start telling the truth!"

"We are," said George and Harold in unison. "What the police were told was a lie."

"That's it," snapped Colter. "Perhaps a few hours in the holding cell will change your minds!"

So the guards escorted George and Harold back to the holding cells. The two realized that this wasn't going to be easy, and they needed a lawyer to help them, and fast.

The next day, Em was walking up to the front doors of Jerome Horwitz Elementary School. She was downhearted, since George and Harold were in the juvenile detention center, and walking to their school without them just wasn't the same. Em was more than determined to steer clear of Melvin, as he was the reason George and Harold were unjustly arrested. Stephanie Yarkoff and Jessica Gordon approached Em.

"Hey Emily!" they said in unison.

"Hey Stephanie, hey Jessica!" said Em.

"We saw what happened yesterday!" said Jessica.

"And there were a number of witnesses!" stated Stephanie.

"I didn't realize that," said Em. "That Melvin, he tried giving me forced hugs."

"We thought we'd help you out!" said Jessica.

"Yeah," said Stephanie. "We wanna make sure Melvin doesn't pull any more stunts!"

"I appreciate the help," said Em gratefully. "He even lied to my uncle, and to the police about George and Harold kidnapping me. He even exaggerated it as much as possible, to make sure George and Harold were put behind bars."

"That's bad," said Stephanie. "Without those comic books, school just won't be the same."

"Yeah," agreed Jessica. "It will just continue to get more and more dull and boring. Melvin should be put into the insane asylum. His tattling has crossed the line!"

"It has," said Em. "He has lied to and manipulated my uncle, for the last... time!"

So the three girls walked inside and they started spreading the word about what Melvin did. Many of the students were mad because without George and Harold, there wouldn't be anymore comic books, since all of the students knew that Em colored the pictures that Harold drew, while George did the writing. As soon as Melvin walked in through the front doors, many of the students just glared at him.

"What?" asked Melvin.

"We heard what you did, Melvin," said Freddie Moore, who is a fifth grader. "We won't tolerate your stupid actions anymore!"

"Yeah," said Donny Shoemyer, who is a fourth grader. "You got George and Harold arrested, and then you tried to take advantage of Emily. We're all gonna be keeping an eye on you from now on!"

"George and Harold got themselves in trouble," Melvin fibbed. "They wouldn't be in juvie if they hadn't kidnapped Emily."

"They would never do that," shouted Freddie, outraged. "You're just a jealous, delusional and insane idiot who just wants to make other students miserable. Now, we don't want to see you around Emily anymore!"

"Yeah," said Tim Bronski, a classmate of George, Harold, Em and Melvin's, who is in their homeroom class. "Your tattling, lying and manipulating is gonna stop, right here, right now!"

"If Emily would've only stayed away from George and Harold," Melvin replied. "Things would've gone smoother, especially if she would only admit her feelings for me!"

"Oh stuff it, Melvin," said Janet Warwick, who is also a fourth grader. "There were witnesses who saw what you did. Emily has been telling all of us about it, so did Stephanie and Jessica."

"I should've known those two would brainwash Emily," said Melvin. "Everybody didn't see what they thought..."

"Knock if off, Melvin!" shouted everybody in the hallways.

Still, Melvin refused to take the hint. He just walked around the hallways, intending to find Em. But everywhere he went, everybody kept an annoyingly close watch on him. He hid behind a trash can, and spotted Em, hanging out with his other classmates in his homeroom, Stephanie Yarkoff and Jessica Gordon.

"I'll show them what happens to anybody who brainwashes Emily." Melvin told himself.

So he began sneaking up on Em, but he didn't realize that he was giving karma another opportunity to strike at him again. As soon as he sneaked up behind Em, Melvin grabs her around her waist with his arms, causing Em to scream, and Stephanie and Jessica to try and free her from Melvin's grasp.

"We're meant to be together for all eternity, Emily," Melvin declared, refusing to let her go. "You know it's destiny..."

Em had enough, so she stomped on his foot and kicked his shin again.

"OWWWWW!" yelled Melvin, clutching his foot and hopping up and down on his uninjured foot, which forced him to let go of Em.

Em just jogged down the hallway, with Stephanie and Jessica blocking Melvin's way, so he wouldn't follow her. Then they jogged down the hallway, with Melvin trying to follow, but his injured foot was in even more pain. As Melvin tried to follow Em, he runs into Miss Anthrope, who is still seeking revenge.

"Well, well," she sneered. "If it isn't the little squirt, who threatened to fire my hiney!"

Melvin screamed and ran down the hallway, with Miss Anthrope following, much to the amusement of the students. Then, to his horror, Melvin runs into a group of students, who were on the football team.

"Look who decided to stroll by," said the quarterback with glee. "The idiot who made us lose our biggest football game of the year!"

Melvin gulped nervously, he looked around as he saw that he was completely surrounded, with no opportunity to escape. The gym teacher, Mr. Meaner came by, glaring at Melvin.

"You caused the purple dragons to lose the big game," he growled. "You are to meet me and the rest of the football team, after school!"

Melvin gulped harder, realizing he was now at the mercy of Mr. Meaner and the football team, who were delighted that they would be teaching the tattle-tale a lesson.

Em was relieved that she, Stephanie and Jessica managed to outrun Melvin, so they started walking to class. On the way, they ran into Principal Krupp, who had a gleeful smile on his face. Em gulped, deducing why her uncle had that look on his face.

"Emily," said Mr. Krupp. "There you are. I'm glad you finally found some better friends. Just thought I'd inform you that George and Harold have been expelled. They won't bother you, or anybody else again!"

Em gasped, finding it hard to believe that George and Harold really have been expelled. Stephanie and Jessica were also stunned. The comic book creating was now history. It didn't take long for word about George and Harold's expulsion to spread. While most of the teachers and other faculty were ecstatic, the students were downhearted. There would be no more comic books, causing the students to loathe most of the teachers and faculty even more, especially Mr. Krupp, who was delighted that George and Harold (in his mind) wouldn't be able to ruin his niece's mind anymore.

Ch. 5

George And Harold's Trial

It took a year, from the time George and Harold were arrested, for the investigations to finish. Now, George and Harold had to stand trial, hopeful that they would be found innocent. Even Em was hopeful that this whole misunderstanding will be cleared up. Judge Fudge Trudge was going to be in charge of George and Harold's trial. While the students of Jerome Horwitz Elementary School came to support George and Harold, most of the teachers and staff were there to make sure they were found guilty. Then, Judge Fudge Trudge banged her gavel three times to signal the start of trial. Mr. Krupp and Melvin were the plaintiffs while George and Harold were the defendants.

"Alright," said Judge Fudge Trudge. "Court is now in session. Today, we're going to go over the charges filed against George Beard and Harold Hutchins for the kidnapping of Emily Krupp."

The students were complaining about that, so were George, Harold and Em's respective parents. Mr. Krupp and Melvin were going to make sure George and Harold were found guilty.

"Order, order!" said Judge Fudge Trudge, banging her gavel to get order restored.

Everybody quieted down, and the prosecutor got up.

"Your honor," he said. "I call Emily Krupp to the stand!"

"Proceed!" said Judge Fudge Trudge.

Em, with her legs and arms trembling, got up and walked over to the witness stand. As soon as she made it to the witness stand, the prosecutor approached and showed her a copy of the oath.

"Now Miss Krupp," the prosecutor began asking. "Do you swear to tell the truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"

When she raised her right hand, Em stated, "I swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth!"

As soon as the prosecutor sat down, Defense Lawyer Sawyer Toyer approached the bench, so he could ask Em some questions regarding George and Harold.

"Now, Miss Krupp," said Defense Lawyer Sawyer Toyer. "Could you tell the court everything you know about Mr. Beard and Mr. Hutchins?"

"Well," Em began explaining. "They've been my best friends since we were in kindergarten..."

Melvin and Mr. Krupp weren't exactly pleased to hear that, seeing that they incorrectly believe that Em had been brainwashed, and were beyond determined to make sure George and Harold were found guilty.

"Our friendship strengthened when we started making comic books," Em went on. "Since then, we've pretty much been inseparable. They would even look out for me if there was any possible danger."

"If Mr. Beard and Mr. Hutchins are your best friends, why would they kidnap you?" asked Defense Lawyer Sawyer Toyer.

"They didn't kidnap me!" stated Em.

Mr. Krupp and Melvin were seething with anger, assuming George and Harold have brainwashed Em once again. They glared over to George and Harold.

"George and Harold would never do anything like that," Em continued. "We were just taking a walk when some police officers asked us about an escaped convict, and they offered to give us a lift home. But they stopped outside by my uncle's house, and that's when it all started going downhill!"

"What happened at the moment?" asked Defense Lawyer Sawyer Toyer.

"Well, my uncle jogged up to me, after I got out, and hugged me," Em continued. "He believed me to have been kidnapped, and Melvin took advantage of the situation by lying about it, and exaggerating it. The police even believed the lies, so they cuffed George and Harold and drove them to the detention center. I chased them for a bit, desperate to clear up the misunderstanding, but they continued driving away."

Mr. Krupp and Melvin glared at George and Harold again, still believing that Emily had been brainwashed to get George and Harold cleared.

"Thank you, Miss Krupp, you may step down." said Defense Lawyer Sawyer Toyer.

So Em stepped down and walked back to where her parents and brother were sitting. Soon, Melvin was called to the stand, much to Em's horror. She knew Melvin was bound to exaggerate the situation with his lies. Even George and Harold weren't pleased that Melvin was called to the stand, knowing exactly what his intentions were.

"Now, Mr. Sneedly, do you swear to tell the truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?" asked the prosecutor.

Melvin raised his right hand and stated, "I swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth!"

Defense Attorney Bernie Fernie (the lawyer representing the plaintiffs) approached Melvin at the stands to ask him questions.

"Now, Mr. Sneedly," he said. "Is the information about you exaggerating the kidnapping situation true, or were they made up?"

"They were made up." Melvin fibbed.

This caused an uproar among those supporting George and Harold. Those supporting Mr. Krupp and Melvin were happy. George and Harold gasped, they couldn't believe that Melvin was committing perjury.

"George and Harold really kidnapped Emily," Melvin continued lying. "They tried to ransom her for $150,000. They only wanted to make my life and Mr. Krupp's life as miserable as possible. George and Harold blackmailed Emily to defend them, just so they didn't have to face the consequences for their crimes."

To say that Em was mad was an understatement, she was furious (knowing clearly that Melvin was lying under oath). How could the tattle-tale do something like that in a court session? George and Harold jumped up from their seats.

"That's a lie!" shouted George and Harold in unison, outraged at Melvin.

"Mr. Beard and Mr. Hutchins," scolded Judge Fudge Trudge. "No interrupting!"

George and Harold reluctantly sat back down, angrier than ever. Melvin stepped down, and Mr. Krupp approached the stand. He took the oath, and began speaking.

"George and Harold truly have a tendency to ruin my niece's mind," said Mr. Krupp. "Melvin has always tried to help me to separate my niece from Mr. Beard and Mr. Hutchins, so she wouldn't turn into a delinquent."

"No, we wouldn't do that!" shouted George and Harold in unison, jumping up from their seats again.

"That will be enough," said Judge Fudge Trudge. "Mr. Beard and Mr. Hutchins, this is your final warning!"

George and Harold reluctantly stopped, once again. How could they not listen to the truth? Without them around, Melvin could do anything to Em, and that thought frightened them. Eventually, a few more came to testify against George and Harold, including Ms. Ribble, which left George, Harold and Em surprised, seeing that their former fourth grade teacher seemed to have reverted back to her original personality. A recess had been called, so the jury could go over the facts and decide what would happen. During that time, Em stayed away from Melvin, knowing he would pursue her relentlessly.

After half an hour had passed, everybody filed back into the courtroom, so George and Harld's trial could get finished. The members entered before the judge, and they took their seats in the jury box. Judge Fudge Trudge was the last to enter, and she sat back down on the judges' raised desk.

"Court is now back in session!" she said after banging her gavel three times.

"Now," said the head of the jury. "It has come to my attention that we find Mr. Beard and Mr. Hutchins _guilty_!"

George and Harold gasped, as did their supporters, especially Em. Those supporting Mr. Krupp and Melvin were beyond ecstatic.

"Mr. Beard, Mr. Hutchins," said Judge Fudge Trudge. "This court sentences you two to ten years in the Piqua Juvenile Detention Center, and a $150,000 fine, for the kidnapping of Miss Emily Krupp, for blackmailing her, and for conspiracy to ransom her!"

Judge Fudge Trudge banged her gavel, causing an uproar among those supporting George and Harold. Soon, the court session was finished, a couple police officers came to escort George and Harold back to juvie. Naturally, this didn't sit well with Em, who couldn't believe that George and Harold were unjustly found guilty. She wanted to sink right through the floor. Her mom decided to escort her out, while her father (who is Principal Krupp's brother) just gave his brother a nasty glare, shocking Principal Krupp. Then he left the courtroom with his son, Kipper (Principal Krupp's nephew and Em's brother). The news of George and Harold being found guilty was in the newspapers the next day, which read:

 **Da Times 'N' Stuff**

 **Youths Found Guilty**

 _Two youths, George Beard (age ten and three quarters) and Harold Hutchins (age eleven) were found guilty yesterday, for the kidnapping of Emily Krupp (age ten and a half) and for the conspiracy of ransoming her for $150,000 and blackmailing her that began a year ago. The youths were sentenced to ten years in the Piqua Juvenile Detention Center with a fine of $150,000 by Judge Fudge Trudge. When asked to comment, George Beard said that this was all a setup, while Harold Hutchins said that they would never do anything like this to their so-called best friend. Emily Krupp was also asked for comment, which she said that George and Harold wouldn't do anything like that. But Melvin Sneedly walked up and told the reporters that George and Harold were a sneaky bunch, also saying they always had a way of making his life, Benjamin Krupp's life and Emily's life even more difficult. George Beard and Harold Hutchins were escorted back to the detention center after their trial, to serve their sentences! (continued on page 4)._

Ch. 6

Consequences and Suffering

The juvenile detention officials escorted George and Harold back to their cell and locked the door after a counseling session. George and Harold were beyond furious with Melvin for committing perjury, and with Mr. Krupp for believing Melvin's lies. This also worried them beyond belief, knowing what Melvin is bound to do to Em.

The whole incident sent Em into a deep depression, spending most of her time in her bedroom or the treehouse (which didn't feel the same with George and Harold's absences). The next day, Em arrived at Jerome Horwitz Elementary School. Many of the students offered her comfort and support, also saying that they're sorry that George and Harold were found guilty, and that they tried their best to help. Stephanie and Jessica also offered help out, which Em was grateful for. Anytime she spotted Melvin, she just turned around and walked the other direction or she would find a hiding spot, beyond determined to stay away from him.

Melvin was looking for Em, but not one student bothered to tell him. Melvin was too delusional to realize that he was now an outcast of Jerome Horwitz Elementary School. The students intensified their efforts to make sure he stays away from Em, much to his annoyance. The football team especially made sure Melvin would suffer, intending to teach the tattle-tale an extremely harsh lesson.

Em also started avoiding her uncle as much as possible. She couldn't stand to face him anymore, seeing that he never listened to her when she tried defending George and Harold at their trial. He always chose to believe Melvin over George and Harold, even when she tried explaining that Melvin was lying and exaggerating. Mr. Krupp assumed that his niece will come around, oblivious that she is avoiding him to show him how much he upset her.

Ch. 7

Meanwhile, at the Piqua State Penitentiary

Out in the prison courtyard (in the center), there was a giant green tarp, covering something underneath it. It was really tall, something that seemed to be honoring the tenth anniversary of the Piqua State Penitentiary. Apparently, it was supposed to be top-secret, since nobody could see what it was, as they weren't allowed. Even the prison guards, nor the warden were allowed to sneak a peek.

One of the prisoners stepped out from under the green tarp. It was Tippy Tinkletrousers, who was serving an eight-year sentence for trying to take over the planet in an attempt to enslave humanity. He was finished with his project for the day, and needed some more tools, so he reported to the warden's office. Sitting in the warden's chair was a rotund little man with a dandruff speckled head. This was Warden Gordon Bordon Schmorden, the chief jailer and guardian of the Piqua State Penitentiary. He had a reputation (with the inmates) for his cruelty and strictness. He even sentenced one prisoner to a year of solitary confinement just for ending a sentence with a preposition. But Warden Schmorden did have _one_ weakness: he was easily flattered, which was what Tippy needed to talk his way into making a giant statue of Warden Gordon Bordon Schmorden, as part of the project for the ten-year anniversary of Piqua State Penitentiary.

"Well, well," sneered Warden Schmorden. "What brings the laughing stock to my office?!"

"Well, the statue is almost finished," stated Tippy. "I just need some more supplies, unless you want to delay the anniversary."

"No no no," said the warden desperately. "That statue needs to finish as soon as possible!"

"Of course," said Tippy as he handed a list of tools, that were carefully written. "Here's the list of more tools!"

"Uh," said Warden Schmorden as he grabbed and looked over the list. "Why do most of these tools come from Mad Scientists Mini-Mall? Why do you need an _Emulsifying Sossilflange Inhibitor_ for? And does the statue actually need a _Reverse Somgobulating Tracto-McFractionizer_? Does any statue use one anyway?"

"Hey," shouted Tippy. "I don't tell you how to run your prison, so don't tell me how to build my statues, okay?"

"Yeah, fair enough!" said the warden.

Ch. 8

The Unveiling

One brisk early afternoon in late October, the entire prison was yawning with excitement. The prisoners had all gathered in the bleachers as the prison band began playing a slow, reverent, and deeply moving rendition of "Whoop! (There it is)". Once everyone had finished drying their eyes, Warden Gordon Bordon Schmorden stepped onstage to congratulate himself, proudly bragging about his great humility, confessing his intense hatred toward intolerable people, and speaking for hours about his legendary brevity.

Then the moment of truth arrived. The statue that Tippy Tinkletrousers built was ready to be presented. He proudly strutted to the courtyard and grabbed hold of the green tarp.

"Gentlemen," he announced. "It gives me great pleasure to get the heck out of here!"

Tippy pulled the green tarp off to reveal his creation, much to Warden Schmorden's shock.

" _Hey,_ " said the warden. "That statue doesn't have a head!"

"That's 'cause it's not a statue," informed Tippy as he climbed up the ladder into the cockpit. "It's a giant Robo-Suit! Once I escape this prison, I will destroy Captain Underpants, once and for all!"

So Tippy wiggled his way into the tiny cockpit and started up the engines. Suddenly, the colossal contraption came to life. It's chest heaved as it's gigantic gorilla-like arms swung threateningly.

"SOUND THE ALARMS!" screamed Warden Schmorden. "STOP THAT GUY!"

Armed guards ran in every direction as sirens started wailing while the prisoners ran screaming for their lives. The metallic behemoth started taking it's first thunderous steps toward freedom. Five armed prison guards stepped in front of the giant Robo-Suit, with three wielding rifles and the other two wielding pistols.

"Freeze, or we'll shoot!" shouted the five prison guards.

"How about it happens the other way around?!" said Tippy with a sneer, as he pressed a button on the control panel.

The huge chest plate opened up, revealing a massive laser shooter in the mechanical depths of the machine. Tippy aimed the laser at the five guards and zapped them. Suddenly, they were transformed into frozen statues. Soon, the machine made it's way into the parking lot, crushing cars and smashing prison buses as it made it's way to Jerome Horwitz Elementary School.

"Time for Captain Underpants to suffer defeat," Tippy told himself. "And I'll make sure his elementary school friends and sidekicks suffer as well!"

So, he continued walking (with each step causing thunderous stomps) to Jerome Horwitz Elementary School, knowing that was where he had last seen Captain Underpants.

Ch. 9

Calling Captain Underpants

Meanwhile, at Jerome Horwitz Elementary School, the school day ended for the day. Em dashed out the front entrance as fast as possible, due to several close calls from Melvin. As soon as she felt that she had gotten enough of a run as far from Melvin as possible, she stopped running and started walking home. Back at the school, Mr. Krupp walked out the front entrance, looking for his niece, after Melvin informed him that Em continued avoiding him, yet again. Mr. Krupp looked all around the schoolyard, but never saw his niece. He did see the giant Robo-Suit walking toward the entrance. Then, Tippy looked down at the principal.

"Hey," shouted Tippy, as a mechanical hand reached down and grabbed Principal Krupp by the back of his shirt. "I'm looking for three kids!"

"W-w-w-wh-wh-which o-o-o-ones?" asked Mr. Krupp, terrified.

"George Beard, Harold Hutchins and Emily Krupp!" stated Tippy.

"George and Harold are in juvie," informed Mr. Krupp. "Why are you looking for my niece?"

"She, George and Harold have information about Captain Underpants," said Tippy. "I'm gonna find her, and take the both of you to the detention center!"

"N-n-nooooo," stuttered Mr. Krupp with fright in his voice. "Those two will ruin my niece's mind!"

"Spare me your complaints," sneered Tippy. "She has just as much information about Captain Underpants as George and Harold do."

So the robot continued to stomp it's way around town, looking for Em while keeping Mr. Krupp grasped in it's left hand. Meanwhile, Em continued walking home when she heard the thunderous footsteps. They were getting louder and louder, resulting in her turning around. She looked up and saw the giant robot, and gasped upon recognizing the scientist.

"Well, hello there, Emily," said Tippy mockingly. "How nice of you to stroll by. You have a free ride here, with your uncle!"

So Tippy reached down with the robot's right hand, picked Em up, and started walking to the juvenile detention center.

Meanwhile, across town at the Piqua Juvenile Detention Center, George and Harold were reading comic books.

"I wouldn't mind being stuck here in juvie," said George. "It's not too different from Jerome Horwitz Elementary School."

"Yeah," agreed Harold. "Seeing that the detention center has a library."

"Juvie even has a music teacher, and an art teacher," said George. "But, at the same time, this makes me worry about Em."

"Yeah," said Harold. "Melvin is probably trying to... geeeeeeeezzz, it's just too much to imagine what he could do to her."

Soon, some distant thundering footsteps were heard. George and Harold jumped up and looked out the window as the thundering footsteps began getting louder and louder. Soon, the entire building began to shake and rumble. George and Harold saw a giant robot stomping toward the juvenile detention center. They gasped when they saw that the robot's controller was Tippy Tinkletrousers, with the robot's hands holding something.

Tippy stopped outside the main entrance and demanded to speak to the one who was in charge. A few minutes later, Director Hector Schmector showed up nervously, outside the entrance.

"Uh, may I h-h-help y-y-y-you?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm looking for two kids named George Beard and Harold Hutchins," said Tippy. "Are they here?"

"Um, yes," said Director Schmector. "But those two are nothing but pranksters. They put ketchup packs under the toilet seats, they put hair remover into my shampoo, and last week, they..."

" _WILL YOU JUST GO GET THEM_?" shouted Tippy insistently.

"Yeah, no problem," said Director Schmector. "They'll be out in a couple minutes!"

So he pranced over to George and Harold's cell, grabbed them by their arms and escorted them to the front door. Once they were outside, Hector Schmector locked the door with a menacing chuckle. George and Harold were terrified, then they gasped when they saw Em in the robot's right hand.

"Hello, George and Harold," crowed Tippy. "Remember me?"

He set Mr. Krupp down on the ground, hoping he can get information about Captain Underpants out of George and Harold.

"Well, I never thought I'd be glad to see you two again," said Mr. Krupp, pointing a finger at George and Harold. "Now, I'm gonna teach you two an ultimate lesson for ruining Emily's mind!"

Em gasped and, almost without thinking, snapped her fingers. All of a sudden, a ridiculously optimistic smile spread across Mr. Krupp's face.

"What's going on?" asked a confused Tippy.

What George, Harold and Em knew, and what Tippy was about to discover, was that Mr. Krupp was transforming into Captain Underpants. He quickly stripped off his outer clothing and toupee. The only thing missing was his cape. He looked around the detention center, but couldn't find a red cape with black dots on it.

"Well, I can't be a superhero if I don't have a cape!" said Captain Underpants.

"You're okay!" assured George.

"Yeah," said Harold. "You don't need a cape. Seriously!"

"Sorry," said the Waistband Warrior. "But ya _gotta_ look fine if you're gonna fight crime!"

And, with no time to spare, Captain Underpants flew off to find a cape.

"That... _that guy was Captain Underpants_?!" cried Tippy.

" _Doyee!_ " said George and Harold in unison.

"AUUUGHHHH!" screamed Tippy. "I JUST HAD HIM IN MY LEFT HAND! I COULD'VE CRUSHED HIM!"

"Doyee!" said George and Harold in unison.

Meanwhile, Captain Underpants had flown to a nearby shopping center, which was having it's Semiannual Storytelling Sale.

"Quick!" cried Captain Underpants. "Do you guys sell capes?!"

"You betchya!" said the cheerful employee. "They're in aisle thirty-nine, next to the diaries and wizard hats!"

"Awesome!" exclaimed Captain Underpants.

In no time at all, our hero found a cape, tied it around his neck and flew off into the night to face his mortal enemy.

Ch. 10

Tippy's Trouser Troubles

Meanwhile, back at the Piqua Juvenile Detention Center, Tippy Tinkletrousers was in a tizzy! He reached down with his mighty robotic left hand and grabbed George and Harold, while he still had Em in the grasp of his mighty robotic right hand, then he demanded answers

"Tell me everything about Captain Underpants," screamed Tippy. "Or I'll squish you kids like a bunch of grapes!"

"Well," said George. "He's really strong!"

"And," said Harold. "He's really powerful!"

"And," said Em. "He's really fast!"

"Yes, yes," said Tippy. "What _else_ is he?"

" _And he's right behind you!_ " said George, Harold and Em simultaneously.

Tippy turned around, but not in time. Captain Underpants swung his flabby fist right into Tippy's jaw. The force of the blow sent Tippy's Robo-Suit flying over the top of the Juvenile Detention Center, right into one of Piqua's many skyscrapers. This also resulted in the robo-hands letting George, Harold and Em go, allowing them to land safely in some nearby bushes.

"I'LL KEEEEEEL YOU!" screamed Tippy as he pulled himself up and lunged at Captain Underpants.

The Robo-Suit's chest panel opened up, revealing a laser beam, then Tippy fired the laser beam, shooting ice at Captain Underpants. But the Waistband Warrior was too quick, he expertly dodged the frozen energy from the Freezy-Beam 4000.

"Oh, _Tippy,_ " called Captain Underpants as he sat coyly atop a nearby skyscraper. "I'm up here!"

Tippy turned quickly and zapped his Freezy-Beam 4000 at the skyscraper, covering it up with a thick casing of ice. But, Captain Underpants had been too fast. He had zinged away, just in time. Then he flew several blocks, right to the playground at Jerome Horwitz Elementary School, with Tippy running after him.

"Yoo-hoo, _Tippy-Tip!_ " called Captain Underpants in a sing-song voice, as he swung playfully from a swing. "Will you give me a push?"

Tippy leaped over the school and landed on the football field. He, once again, zapped his Freezy-Beam 4000 with a thick casing of ice. But once more, Captain Underpants was too fast and zanged away in the nick of time. Tippy looked around, but didn't see our hero anywhere.

"Heeeeere, Tippy, Tippy, Tippy!" called Captain Underpants once more, as he lounged lazily between Tippy's giant, robotic feet. "I'm down here, I'd like some ice, please!"

" _Why, you little..._ " screamed Tippy as he bent over and aimed his Freezy-Beam 4000 at Captain Underpants and zapped.

Of course, Captain Underpants was long gone before the ice beam reached the ground. Unfortunately for Tippy, his robotic feet weren't. The giant Robo-Feet and Robo-Legs were now encased in a huge, shimmering iceberg. He pulled with all his might, but his lower half was frozen to the football field. Tippy was stuck.

Ch. 11

Break In Two: Electric Boogaloo

"NOOOOOOOO!" screamed Tippy.

Then he ducked his head beneath the cockpit of the Robo-Suit and disappeared down a stairwell into the intricate innards of his intimidating invention. Captain Underpants grabbed the arms of the Robo-Suit and began to pull. Harder and harder he tugged until, one by one, the rivets in the Robo-Suit's thick steel belt began to pop. The harder Captain Underpants yanked, the more the Robo-Suit began to break in two. The shrieking sounds of twisting metal reverberated around Tippy as he traversed the crumbling staircase. His only chance now was to make it down into the lower half of the Robo-Suit before Captain Underpants pulled it apart. With no time to spare, Tippy dashed into the Robo-Pants just as Captain Underpants pulled the Robo-Suit in two.

" _You haven't seen the last of me!_ " Tippy yelled as he closed the emergency hatch on the Robo-Pants.

Then, Tippy set his Tinkle-Time Travelometer to "Five Years Ago" and pressed the "Away We Go!" button. Suddenly, sparks of blue lightning began emanating from the Robo-Pants. The massive bolts crackled loudly and grew more and more intense until finally, Tippy and his Robo-Pants were enveloped in a giant ball of blue lightning. Then, in a blinding flash of light, Tippy and his Robo-Pants disappeared, leaving only an empty mound of ice behind. The crazed inventor and his terrifying trousers would never be seen again after that fateful afternoon. They would, however, be seen exactly five years _before_ that afternoon... But, before I can tell you that story, we have to go back _even further_...

Ch. 12

Exactly Five Years, Eleven Days, Fourteen Hours and Six Minutes ago...

This is Harold Hutchins, he is six years old, and he lives with his mom and sister at 1520 Vine Street in Piqua, Ohio. His bad haircut was fairly short at this time. Harold's parents had just gotten divorced, and his dad moved to Nevada about six months ago. None of this had been easy for Harold. He never talked about it that much. In fact, Harold Hutchins didn't talk much at all. He kept to himself, mostly, and drew pictures, lots and lots of pictures. The things Harold liked to draw were monsters and superheroes. The monsters he created were evil and ferocious, while his superheroes were always virtuous and brave. They were never far away when you needed them.

Harold loved getting lost in his wonderful paper-and-pencil adventures, where the good guys always won and the bad guys got the "kick in the pants" that they deserved. Today had started out just like any ordinary day. Harold got dressed and ate his breakfast, trying hard not to think about the tough day that lay ahead of him. Harold was in kindergarten at Jerome Horwitz Elementary School, and he hated every minute of it. His teacher was mean, the bullies were jerks, and the principal was just plain _evil_. The best Harold could do was try to "fit in" and not draw any unnecessary attention to himself. He brushed his teeth and carefully placed his pencils and his favorite drawings into his backpack, without any knowledge that today was going to be a day that would change his life forever.

Ch. 13

Meet Emily

This is Emily Krupp, she is five-and-a-half years old. She lives with her mom, dad and her brother, Kipper. Emily and her folks live just two doors down from Harold's house's left, where they've been living in for a few years (they moved into the house six months before Harold and his family moved in the house two doors to the right). Emily loved coloring pictures, in fact, she always carried a coloring book and a box of crayons everywhere she went. Sometimes she would draw pictures, but prefers coloring pre-drawn pictures. Her parents were impressed with Emily's talent that they hoped that one day, she might enter an art contest.

Today began like any average day. She would get up, eat breakfast and change from her pajamas into her usual outfit, consisting of a polka dot blouse (with the polka dots being red, pink and sky blue, with the rest of the blouse being white) and a red overall skirt. During this time, Emily would keep her blonde hair in a medium ponytail. She never liked her hair curly, as she found it too much trouble. Emily was also in kindergarten, while her brother was in the sixth grade. While her teacher was mean, nobody bullied her. This was because her brother never liked it when another student would try approaching her, assuming that she was in danger, so Kipper would punch anybody who got too close to his baby sister. Another reason nobody picked on her was because Emily and Kipper's uncle Benny (who happened to be the principal at Jerome Horwitz Elementary School) would severely punish anybody who tried to come anywhere close to his sweet little niece, even if the student, or students, try to befriend her. Principal Krupp would give his niece and nephew special treatment, in fact, even Kipper's friends got special treatment as well. Unlike Kipper and his friends, Emily didn't take pride in it, nor did she abuse it either.

If Principal Krupp saw his niece trying to socialize, he would find his nephew and "inform" him that Emily was in trouble. So Kipper and his friends would come to her "rescue."

(Emily's flashback)

One time, a female kindergartner (who wasn't in the same homeroom as Emily) got punched in the stomach by Kipper, believing she was trying to pick on his little sister. Kipper's friends, Loogie, Bugg and Finkstein would surround Emily, to keep her "safe from harm." Then, as the girl clutched her stomach in pain, Kipper would hold his wrist in minor pain, but would also exaggerate it.

" _Uncle Benny!_ " cried Kipper.

"What happened, Kipper?" asked Principal Krupp as soon as he showed up.

"This kindergartner tried to hurt Emily," Kipper cried as he held his wrist. "So I told her to leave, but she hit my fist with her stomach, and it injured my wrist as well!"

"Oh, she _DID_ , did she?" said Mr. Krupp, who turned to the kindergartner writhing in pain. "How dare you hurt my nephew's wrist, and how dare you try to pick on my niece! To my office, _RIGHT NOW!_ "

The kindergartner got up and reluctantly followed Mr. Krupp to the principal's office. Mr. Krupp had a zero tolerance policy in Jerome Horwitz Elementary School, and he _was_ extremely strict about it. He even suspended a third grader once, just because he said the word "gun," but he really said "gum." But it sounded similar. This also meant that there was no room for common sense when it came to the ZERO TOLERANCE policy. Emily just shook her head in disbelief, seeing that the kindergartner was just trying to be friendly with her. Emily tried to clear up the misunderstanding, but her brother and uncle ignored it.

(End of flashback)

Emily carefully placed her coloring book and box of crayons in her backpack. Then she went downstairs, where her mom hugged and kissed her forehead before leaving for school, while Kipper just accepted a hug. Then he and Emily left for school.

"Have a good day you two, and behave yourselves!" called Mrs. Krupp at her childrens' retreating backs.

As they made it to the end of Vine Street, Kipper's friends met up with them. Kipper and his friends would surround Emily, to keep her "safe from harm."

Ch. 14

The Encounter That Changes Three Lives Forever

Meanwhile, Harold's mom was helping him put his backpack on.

"Maybe you'll make a new friend today at school!" said Mrs. Hutchins cheerfully.

"I don't know." said Harold uncertainly.

"What about that little boy next door to our left, who moved in last weekend?" asked his mother.

Harold shrugged. He had only seen the boy once or twice, but they hadn't actually met.

"The family who lives two doors to our left, they have a little girl about your age. Maybe you can introduce yourself to her, and the little boy next to us." suggested Mrs. Hutchins.

Harold shrugged again. He had seen the girl on a few occasions. She always seemed to be surrounded by sixth graders. Harold guessed that one of them was her brother. So his mother hugged him and kissed his forehead, and then got out a couple dollars out of her purse and gave them to Harold.

"This is your lunch money," stated his mother. "Don't use it for candy, nor soda pop!"

"I won't." said Harold as he walked out the door.

It was true that Harold wouldn't use it for junk. In fact, it wouldn't make it very far, and usually it didn't. That's because it was always taken from him by the sixth-grade bully named Kipper, who loved to terrorize the kindergartners. Kipper was the biggest and meanest kid at Jerome Horwitz Elementary School, and Harold knew that. Kipper was also the captain of the wrestling team. Since Kipper and Emily's uncle is Principal Krupp, everybody had to treat them like _royalty_ , or else face the principal's wrath. Kipper's friends also had to be treated like royalty, or else it was punishment. Aside from keeping Emily safe from harm, Kipper and his friends also had a tendency to steal lunch money from the kindergartners. Many of them reluctantly handed their lunch money over, as it was alot less trouble (and alot less painful) than getting wedgies.

Meanwhile, Kipper, Emily and Kipper's friends were on their way to a gas station called: Billy Bill's Gas 'N' Git. Billy Bill was a good friend of Principal Krupp's, and he gave discounts to Kipper, Emily and Kipper's friends anytime they bought something like soda pop or junk food.

"I wonder what sounds good for breakfast today!" said Bugg.

"Hopefully Billy Bill has some more of those vanilla-flavored sprinkled donuts!" said Finkstein, licking his lips.

"Yeah," said Loogie, with his mouth watering. "Or some sausage and bacon!"

"Do you want anything, Emily?" Kipper asked his sister.

"No thank you!" said Emily.

"I thought you'd want some chocolate milk or something." said Kipper.

"Well, okay!" said Emily.

Meanwhile, Harold made it to the intersection of Dogwood Drive and Rosita Lane. This was always trouble for Harold anytime he came to this intersection. He knew Kipper and his cronies enjoy getting their breakfast from Billy Bill's gas station. He watched as Kipper and his cronies went inside, then he dashed up to the sign that said: 'Free Brake Inspection.' He peeked up from behind the bushes a little to see if Kipper and his friends were distracted before dashing to the dumpster. Most of the time, he was lucky, but today wasn't one of those days. At that moment, Billy Bill came outside to throw some trash into the dumpster after getting Kipper, Emily and Kipper's friends some breakfast. He spotted Harold by the sign and got really angry.

"HEY, YOU STUPID KID!" screamed Billy Bill as he grabbed Harold by the back of his shirt. "THAT SIGN IS A VALUABLE PIECE OF MERCHANDISE, NOT SOME TOY FOR YOU TO PLAY WITH!"

Harold's heart was pounding with nervousness.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" he whispered frantically.

Unfortunately, it was too late. Kipper and his friends finished their breakfast, but as soon as they spot Harold, they immediately ran toward him to confront him.

"Hey, kid!" yelled Kipper. "Why are you bothering this nice man?!"

"I'm sorry!" said Harold, looking down at the ground.

Billy Bill let Harold go with a shove, causing him to fall to the ground.

"Hope you boys teach this vermin a lesson," said Billy Bill. "I can't have this little miscreant out here trying to vandalize my sign. I don't wanna have to call the cops!"

"Don't worry, Billy Bill," assured Kipper. "We'll teach this ruffian a lesson!"

So he yanked Harold up by the arm while Loogie pulled Harold's backpack open and started rummaging through it. He found a couple dollars, intended for Harold's lunch.

"Hey, I found his lunch money!" said Loogie triumphantly.

"Gimme it!" yelled Kipper.

Loogie dutifully handed the money to Kipper, who pocketed it. None of this behavior appeared to disturb Billy Bill at all. He seemed to enjoy watching every bit of it.

"You gotta learn to stick up for yourself," Billy Bill told Harold, while chuckling. "Otherwise, people will bully you for the rest of your life!"

The four thugs dragged Harold toward the school parking lot. Emily, meanwhile, finished her chocolate milk and gasped when she saw, yet another kindergartner getting bullied and shaken down. She wasn't impressed, especially when Billy Bill didn't help the kindergartner. She knew there was no way she could help him. What could a kindergartner do to help another one in this kind of trouble? But fortunately, luck has a way of changing, even if Harold's seemed to be running out. And Harold's awful luck was about to change in a very BIG way.

Ch. 15

Meet George

This is George Beard, he is five-and-three-quarters years old, and his hair is in an afro. He and his parents had just moved from Michigan into the house between Harold's and Emily's respective houses. George was what adults liked to describe as a "precocious" child. George was taught how to read and write at the age of four, by his mother. This allowed George to score higher on tests than the average kid his age. George's scores even impressed his former teachers, who thought that George ought to skip ahead to the third grade, but his parents decided against it, believing George should stay in classrooms with kids his own age. Mr. and Mrs. Beard weren't sure if they made the right choice, but on the other hand, George did develop good social skills and had been well liked by his classmates, which was a good thing. But George would often get bored in class, so he got into mischief, which was a bad thing.

George never liked school all that much, instead preferring to ride his skateboard, watch monster movies and read comic books and/or graphic novels. George also enjoyed writing stories, in fact, he filled up twenty spiral notebooks with marvelously silly adventures that he had written all by himself. Many of the stories had gotten George into trouble when he read them out loud to his class. His teachers thought they were rude and inappropriate, while his classmates loved them.

Well, today happened to be George's first day at Jerome Horwitz Elementary School, and his mother was helping him get ready.

"Well, I hope things will be better here in Ohio," said Mrs. Beard as she handed a tie to George. "Your father and I bought this tie for you!"

"A _TIE?!_ " cried George. "I haven't seen any kids wear a tie!"

"Well, you're going to wear one today," his mother insisted. "I want you to make a good _first impression_!"

"Aw, come on, Mom!" George pleaded.

"Your father wears a tie," his mother stated. "And you're wearing one today, and that's _FINAL_!"

"Rats!" said George as his mother put it on.

"It's just for today, George," said his mother in a calmer voice. "It's not like I'm gonna make you wear one every day!"

"Well, okay." said George as he put his backpack on.

He was still a little upset about the "tie" thing, but eased up some since he only had to wear it today. He hugged his mother before walking out the front door.

"Have a nice first day at school dear!" said his mother.

"Mm-hmmmm!" said George.

So he grabbed his skateboard from the bushes by the driveway and headed off to school. It was about five blocks away, and the sidewalks were smooth with hardly any pebbles, which was good for skateboarding. The ride to school, for the most part, was pleasant. That is, until George reached the corner by Dogwood Drive and Rosita Lane. There was some kind of commotion going on in front of the gas station. He watched it intently while he waited for the walk signal.

As soon as the walk signal appeared, George skateboarded closer to the gas station and hid behind the display sign, to get a closer look on the commotion. Once he was able to, George couldn't believe what he saw. There was a kid with yellow hair, who appeared to be about George's age, getting shoved to the ground by the gas station owner, and a group of four mean-looking kids yanked the yellow-haired kindergartner up by his arm, with the leader of the bullies shaking him down. George also saw a girl with blonde hair in a medium ponytail, standing close by, scared. She also appeared to be about George's age. What angered George even more was that the owner of the gas station laughed at the yellow-haired kid, and told him he needed to stick up for himself. George even saw that the blonde-haired girl was terrified as she continued to watch the situation getting worse.

Ch. 16

Furious George To The Rescue

George couldn't bear to watch the yellow-haired kid continue to get bullied, and the blonde-haired girl to continue watching the terror, as she appeared to be getting more and more scared. Unfortunately, there's not a whole lot you can do when you're a little kid who encounters injustice. Your natural desire is to try to set things right, but that often tends to backfire, resulting in even _greater_ injustices. The sad truth is, big people usually have all of the power. You can't force anybody to be kind, fair, nor honorable, especially if you're a kindergartner who is only forty-three inches tall and weigh only fifty pounds. George knew that's why it's really important to be smart, especially after having witnessed today's encounter. George could even tell that the bad guys outweigh the yellow-haired kid by probably 700 pounds. But George was smarter than all of them combined.

As the bullies dragged the yellow-haired kid across the street, George looked around for the best way to make things right. He focused in on the display sign that read: Free Brake Inspection. George saw that this was a busy intersection, and knew that a tiny change could create a great deal of pandemonium. The owner of the gas station was too busy laughing at the yellow-haired kid getting bullied, so George reached over to the sign and removed the letters _k_ and _e_ from the word _brake_. George smirked, seeing that the sign now read: 'Free Bra Inspection!' The owner, George saw on the name tag, was named Billy Bill, and he turned around and saw George by the sign.

" _HEY_!" screamed Billy Bill. "YOU GET AWAY FROM THAT SIGN RIGHT NOW, Y'HEAR! SERIOUSLY, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU KIDS THESE DAYS?!"

Billy walked over to George to grab him by his shirt collar, but didn't get the chance. It was at that moment that a violet Volkswagen jumped the curb and screeched next to Billy Bill. Two old ladies got out of the Volkswagen, screaming out at the top of their lungs, much to George's delight. He smiled at what was about to happen.

"Free _BRA_ inspection?!" shouted the outraged driver, as she smacked Billy Bill over the head with her purse. "That's _OFFENSIVE_!"

"HOW _DARE_ YOU?!" yelled the other lady, hitting Billy Bill with her cane. "Women are human beings, not toys for you to play with!"

"You're a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG!" screamed a third lady, who had run over from the coffee shop across the street with a group of her angry friends.

Soon, more women were walking up to Billy Bill, they all took turns with hitting, kicking, and whacking Billy Bill repeatedly in the ferocious female fight for equality.

"You gotta learn to stick up for yourself," George told Billy Bill. "Or else people are gonna bully you for the rest of your life!"

He walked past the traffic jam, ignoring Billy Bill's tear-filled cries for mercy as the women continued kicking, hitting and whacking the gas station owner in disgust and anger. Over by the dumpster, Emily was watching the scene, with a smile. While she never saw what the sign now said, the crowd of angry women yelling and kicking Billy Bill indirectly told her what the sign now read. George walked around, looking for the yellow-haired kid, not noticing the blonde-haired girl standing by the dumpster.

Over in the next parking lot, George saw the bullies laughing and cheering as one of the cohorts ripped up the yellow-haired kid's drawings and snapped all of his pencils in half.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" shouted George.

The bullies turned around and faced the kindergartner with the afro, who was standing there defiantly before them.

"Haw! Haw! Haw!" laughed Kipper, the leader of the bullies. "Whatcha gonna do if we don't!"

"I'm gonna _Indiana Jones_ ya," said George as he undid his tie and twirled it threateningly between his outstretched hands.

" _GET HIM_!" yelled Kipper as he and his cronies ran toward George.

As soon as Kipper was close enough, George whipped him with his tie several times. Kipper screamed like a giant, blubbering baby and ran away. Bugg and Loogie were up next. George smacked them simultaneously.

"Let's get outta here!" screamed Loogie and Bugg.

Finkstein opened the dumpster, where he and the other bullies tried to scramble inside, but they weren't fast enough. George swung his tie and smacked the bullies in their tushies several times. Emily was amused when she saw the kindergartner with the afro give her brother and his friends a taste of their own medicine.

Ch. 17

The Detention

Once George was finished, he gave Kipper and his cronies a glare.

"I don't want you guys messing with me ever again!" George firmly told the bullies, who were squealing in high-pitched terror. "And that yellow-haired kid is off-limits. You mess with us, you answer to **_The TIE_**!"

George snapped his tie in the air several times as a warning, causing Kipper and his friends to shriek like baboons. Harold was surprised, and grateful that somebody came to his rescue.

" _Uh-uh-Uncle Benny!_ " Kipper wailed through his tears.

Suddenly, Principal Krupp came storming out of the building and over to the dumpster where Kipper and his friends were hiding in.

" _WHAT'S GOING ON OUT HERE_?!" shouted Principal Krupp.

"That kid with the afro beat me and my friends up!" Kipper sobbed.

"Oh, he _DID_ , did he?" yelled Mr. Krupp as he grabbed George by the arm. "I don't take _kindly_ to bullies in this school!"

" _They're_ the bullies," cried Harold, pointing to Kipper and his friends. "They were trying to beat up that kid..."

"I don't like _LIARS_ , either!" growled Mr. Krupp as he grabbed Harold by his arm.

Kipper stuck his tongue out at George and Harold as soon as Mr. Krupp's back was turned toward him and his friends. Emily shook her head in disbelief when she saw her uncle escort the kid with the afro and the yellow-haired kid to his office. Unfortunately, she couldn't do anything about it. Kipper and his friends got out of the dumpster.

"Come on, Emily," Kipper told his sister. "Uncle Benny will deal with those miscreants. They won't bother you, since they will be punished!"

Emily reluctantly complied as she followed her brother and his friends up to the school entrance. She couldn't understand why her uncle wouldn't listen to reason. It was a shame that the injustice rates were too high for the victims, while the justice rates were too low for the bullies.

Meanwhile, in the principal's office, Mr. Krupp was giving George and Harold a paralyzing glare. He wasn't happy that they "bullied" his nephew and his friends. In his mind, Mr. Krupp also believed that they might've tried bullying his niece as well.

"You two are to meet me in the detention room after school," he insisted. "That'll teach you a lesson about bullying others! Now, to your classrooms, before the bell rings!"

So the two left the principal's office.

"So much for a good first impression." grumbled George as he walked to his new classroom.

Meanwhile, Emily was looking for the two kids who gave her brother and his friends a taste of their own medicine, hoping they were alright. Unfortunately, with only five minutes left before school started, she had little choice but to walk to class.

(Later that afternoon)

The school day was over, so George walked to the detention room, where he saw the yellow-haired kid there already. George guessed that his classroom was pretty close to the detention room. So he found a seat and sat down as he and Harold continued to wait for the principal to give them a punishment. After about a couple minutes, they heard some talking out in the hallway, which was getting more and more audible. Then, Principal Krupp walked in with a blonde-haired girl. George and Harold recognized her as the girl who was watching the encounter at the gas station that morning.

"Okay, Emily," Mr. Krupp started instructing. "I'd like you to keep an eye on those ruffians! Make sure that they don't try anything funny!"

"Yes, uncle." said Emily.

"Good girl!" said Mr. Krupp fondly, as he patted his niece gently on her shoulder. Then, he turned to George and Harold. "You two are to stay here for two hours. And I _DON'T_ want you bothering my niece. Is that clear?"

"Yes sir!" said George and Harold simultaneously. "We'll behave!"

" _Too_ right, you will," growled Mr. Krupp. "Or else, you will get another detention or two!"

So he left his niece to keep an eye on George and Harold. It was 2:30 PM, making the two hours seem like an eternity for a kindergartner, especially for the one (or ones) who was serving the detention. Harold got out some paper and a broken pencil and started drawing.

"So, what grade are you in?" asked George.

"I'm in kindergarten." stated Harold.

"Same here," said George. "My folks and I moved here three days ago."

"Oh," said Harold. "My mom told me about that, mentioning that you live next door."

"Really?" said George, who held his hand out. "I'm George Beard!"

"I'm Harold Hutchins," he said, shaking hands with George.

Emily decided to properly introduce herself to the kids whose names were George and Harold.

"Hi," she said, also holding her hand out. "I'm Emily Krupp!"

"I'm George Beard!" said George as he shook hands with Emily.

"I'm Harold Hutchins!" said Harold as he also shook hands with Emily.

"My house happens to be next door to your left," Emily said to George.

"Really," said George. "I never did see you when my family and I moved in, I only saw Harold a couple of times!"

"It's because my brother and his friends won't really allow any student near me, at least any student who isn't in my homeroom class," said Emily sheepishly. "They always think I'm gonna get picked on, even my uncle thinks so, too!"

"So the principal is your uncle?" asked Harold.

"Yeah," said Emily. "He tends to give me, my brother and his friends special treatment, and all the students have to treat us with royalty. If they don't, then they have to go to my uncle's office. Even if somebody tries to befriend me, they also get punished."

"That's awful," said George. "Trying your best to make friends, and it never works out."

"My mother is proud of my brother for being protective," said Emily. "But she often tries explaining to him that it's not good to be overprotective."

"Which of those sixth-graders is your brother?" asked George and Harold in unison.

"The one who has the key chain around his neck," said Emily. "His friends are Loogie, who has the hat and buck teeth. Bugg is the one who has black skin and Finkstein is the one who has the giant letter _F_ on the front of his shirt and the bangs over his eyes. My brother's name is Kipper."

"I don't understand why he and his friends, Kipper especially, go around bullying," said Harold. "Seeing how you don't bully others."

"Kipper and his friends take pride in abusing the whole royalty thing," stated Emily. "They let the power of special treatment and royalty get to them. But I have no desire to do that."

"That's good," said Harold as he handed some paper to George and Emily. "If ya want, you can draw on these!"

"I'm not all that good with drawing," said George. "But I'm a great writer!"

"So, Emily, are you good at drawing?" asked Harold.

"I can draw a little," she said. "But I prefer to color pictures."

George suddenly got an idea. He wrote _The Adventures Of Dog Man_ at the top of the first page, catching Harold and Emily's interest.

"I thought maybe we could make a comic book," suggested George. "Where I can do the writing, maybe Harold can do the drawing, and Emily could color the pictures!"

"Great idea!" said Harold and Emily in unison.

So Harold drew a picture what he thought Dog Man ought to look like. Then he handed the first page to Emily so she could color it.

"The Adventures Of Dog Man," said Emily as she read it. "By George, Harold and Em. Em?"

Emily looked up at George when she saw that "Em" was the only part of her name on the front page.

"Sorry," said George sheepishly, while smiling nervously. "I have big handwriting, I couldn't fit the rest of your name onto it!"

"I like it," said Emily with a smile. "It's a pretty cool nickname!"

George and Harold looked at each other smiling.

"Then it's settled," they said simultaneously. "Em it is!"

And that's how the three kindergartners became best friends, how they started their publishing empire, and how Emily got her nickname, "Em," on the very same day. They got busy working on their very first comic book called: _The Adventures Of Dog Man_!" It was about a police officer and a police dog, who fought crime and arrested criminals. Then, a bomb explosion happened, where the police officer's head was dying and the dog's (whose name was Greg) body was dying. Then the doctors saved Greg's life by transplanting the head onto the officer's body, and that's how Dog Man was born. He continued fighting crime, while he was scared of vacuum cleaners, and a cat decided to build a robo-vacuum to scare Dog Man away. Soon, Dog Man overcame his fear and arrested Petey The Cat, and the city was now peaceful, with the police officers praising Dog Man for his heroic deeds.

Ch. 18

The Plan

George, Harold and Em were reading through their first ever comic book. They were proud of themselves. By the time they were finished, George and Harold's two hours were up. Luckily, Mr. Krupp was too busy that he forgot all about the detention he assigned George and Harold.

"Wow," said George. "This comic book turned out pretty good!"

"Yeah," said Harold, smiling.

"It sure did," agreed Em. "I wonder how we'll show the other students our very first comic book!"

"Maybe we can make copies and sell them for twenty-five cents each!" suggested George.

"Great idea!" said Harold.

So the three kindergartners gathered their stuff and walked out the front door of the school.

"We also should start our own comic book company!" suggested Harold.

"Great idea," said George. "We can call it Treehouse Comix Inc!"

"How come?" asked Harold and Em.

"Cuz my dad is building a treehouse in our backyard," George explained. "It'll have electricity, a TV, a small refrigerator, a junk food cupboard, you name it. It'd be the perfect place to make our comic books up there!"

"No way!" said Harold and Em ecstatically. "That's awesome!"

So George, Harold and Em continued walking until they strolled by a trash bin where Kipper and his cronies were about to administer _killer wedgies_ to a couple of kindergartners, as Kipper wanted to know where his sister was.

"Is that her?" asked one of them, pointing to Em.

"Emily," said Kipper. "I've been looking for you, it's time we got..."

He saw Harold as well, and he wasn't pleased.

"Get lost," Kipper shouted. "I don't want..."

"Oh, Kippy!" George called as he stepped out from behind Harold and Em.

Kipper and his cronies stopped, dead in their tracks and, having spotted George's tie, they turned away, with horror in their eyes, and ran away.

"No, I don't want that again. Anything but the tie of doom. Ha ha, ha, ha ha ha ha ha!" screamed Kipper as he and his friends continued running away and yipping like wiener dogs.

"I think I'll wear a tie every day from now on!" said George.

"Great idea!" said Harold and Em.

As the three kindergartners continued walking home, they discussed their favorite games, movies, which videos were the funniest, and what kind of bubble gum blew the best bubbles. Talking about gum made Harold's mouth water.

"That just made me hungry." said Harold.

"Me, too." said Em.

"Why don't you come over to my house," said George. "I make a _mean_ peanut-butter-and-gummy-worm sandwich!"

"Really?!" asked Harold and Em.

"The secret ingredient is chocolate syrup!" said George in a whisper.

"Wow," said Harold. "I gotta try that!"

"Same here!" agreed Em.

Soon, the three kindergartners reached George's house and headed for the backyard. George's dad was already hard at work building the new treehouse.

"Hi Pop!" George greeted his dad.

"Hey buddy," said Mr. Beard. "How was your first day at school?"

"It was okay," said George. "I made a couple friends!"

"I'm Harold Hutchins!" said Harold, shaking hands with Mr. Beard.

"I'm Emily Krupp," said Em, who also shook hands with Mr. Beard. "George and Harold gave me the nickname, Em!"

"Em, huh," said George's dad.

"Yeah," said George. "Well, we don't want to interfere with your work. Would you like a peanut-butter-and-gummy-worm sandwich, Pop?"

"No thank you!" said George's dad.

So the three friends walked into George's house, made themselves some sandwiches, and got right to work. George, Harold and Em knew it was up to them to put a stop to Kipper Krupp's reign of terror. George wrote down a list of Kipper's strengths and weaknesses while Harold and Em tried to come up with ideas, so they could get a better understanding of the relentless bully. They soon became discouraged.

"This is terrible," said Harold. "I can't think of any weakness!"

"Well," said Em. "Kipper does have a couple weaknesses!"

"What's that, Em?" asked George and Harold.

"He's not very bright!" said Em. "He also has a habit of routine!"

George smiled as he wrote _not very bright_ and _habit of routine_ under _weaknesses_.

"That's all we need!" he said.

Ch. 19

Super Spy Kids

The next day at school, George, Harold and Em stuck close to one another every chance they got. George and Harold did most of the spying, due to the fact that Em would be escorted to school by Kipper and his friends. She paid special attention when Kipper and his friends talked about their plans after wrestling practice. This allowed Em to gather some clues to give George and Harold. They even took notes of Kipper's schedule, and paid special attention to what he normally did between classes. They even took measurements and stayed after school to spy on Kipper's wrestling practices. By the end of the week, George, Harold and Em got all the information that they needed, so now they knew Kipper's schedule, even more than Kipper himself.

True to Em's word, Kipper was a creature of habit. Every day, he did exactly the same things at the exact same times. At the end of every school day, Kipper would go to his locker and unlock his heavy duty padlock with a key that he keeps on his thick key chain that he has around his neck. Then he would place his padlock on top of his locker, then he would open his locker door. Then, Kipper would empty his pockets and, putting his valuables inside his locker, where his cell phone went on the top shelf, while the money he stole from the kindergartners would go in a duffel bag at the bottom.

After wrestling practice was over, Kipper would go back to his locker and unlock it the very same way. He'd retrieve his cell phone, grab his heavy duty padlock from the top of his locker, and put it back on the door. Finally, he'd click it shut to lock everything back up again. What surprised George, Harold and Em was that Kipper would usually leave all of the stolen money in his locker. It could be that Kipper believed that it was safer there. Nobody could open it without a key; and nobody had it except for Kipper himself, and Kipper _never_ took the key off his neck... not even in the _shower_! The three kindergartners went to a local hardware store to look for a padlock identical to Kipper's.

"We'll never get away with our plan as long as Kipper has that key," said Harold downheartedly, as he, George and Em walked up and down the aisles of the hardware store.

"We won't need the key," assured Em. "We just need the padlock!"

They continued browsing the aisles. Soon, the three made it to the home security aisle.

"Here it is," said George as he picked up a padlock. "This is exactly like the one Kipper uses on his locker!"

"But none of them will have the same key," said Harold. "Each padlock will come with a different key! How will that help?"

"You'll see..." said George, smiling.

After paying for the padlock, George, Harold and Em walked across the street to the toy store. They skimmed through the first two aisles, without success. Down at the end of the third aisle, the beads and jewelry aisle, they found what they were looking for: a Susie Sunshine Friendship Bracelet Kit.

"Oh boy," said Em while smirking. "Kip is gonna go totally bonkers if he see's this!"

"Yeah," said George, who started grinning mischievously. "This gives me a wonderful idea..."

"Uh oh!" said Em in mock horror.

"Why do we need that?" asked Harold.

"You'll see..." said George, smiling.

So the three got the friendship bracelet kit payed for and left for their respective houses for the rest of the day. The next day was Saturday, which gave George, Harold and Em plenty of time to draw up plans and design pranks to put a stop to Kipper's reign of terror, once and for all. They went through their respective houses, collecting everything that was needed for their plan. George found a roll of self lining paper towels, and measured it carefully.

"Hey Mom, can we have this?" said George. "It's for school."

"I suppose so." said Mrs. Beard.

Then, the three kindergartners went over to Harold's house. Harold found a pair of dress shoes, and some old pants that his dad had left behind when he moved away. He felt pretty sure his dad wouldn't mind that they were nailed to George's wooden stilts.

"I still don't understand how we're gonna hide these stilts at school." said George as he practiced walking on them.

"You'll see..." said Harold, who knew a few tricks of his own.

Em had an envelope in her hands, with a mischievous grin on her face. The envelope in her hands had _To Kipper_ written on the front of it.

"What's with the envelope, Em," asked George and Harold in unison. "What does that have to do with our plan?"

"You'll see..." said Em, smiling, who had some tricks up her sleeve.

Ch. 20

Monday

On Monday morning, the three kindergartners woke up early, gathered their supplies, and headed to school, arriving about fifteen minutes before the rest of the students started arriving. George and Harold went into the boys restroom while Em waited outside. George and Harold carried their stilts and supplies into one of the empty stalls and placed them inside it. After getting it set up, they finally locked the stall door. If you were standing outside the stall, looking underneath the door, it appeared as if somebody was sitting down in there, _taking care of their business_. George and Harold knew that nobody would dare go near this stall, so it was the safest place in the school to hide their stuff.

Soon, the students started arriving and the day started out, pretty much, like any normal day. Mr. Krupp marched up and down the hallways, screaming and making children cry. He and Kipper still threatened any kindergartner (who isn't in Em's homeroom) as punishment for "picking on her," and because of that, Em advised George and Harold to hide or keep a safe distance anytime she spotted either her uncle or brother, so they wouldn't get beat up or punished, and likely ruin their plan. Kipper and his goons continued to shake the other kindergartners down and distributed wedgies to any who dared to defy them, so the feeling of hopelessness and despair filled the morning air as usual.

At lunchtime, as usual, the downtrodden kindergartners continued sitting in the cafeteria (since they were the first ones to have lunch) with no food at all. Mr. Krupp strolled around like he was on patrol, and started getting angry.

"How come you all never have any food at lunchtime?" he shouted in mock surprise.

"We're... on d-diets!" said one kindergartner.

"Oh, well, that's good," said Principal Krupp as he pulled his belt up over his giant stomach. "It's important stay healthy and fit, just like me!"

So he continued strolling around in his patrol-like walk, looking for anybody who is "trying to pick on" his niece. He found her sitting with her class.

"Emily," said Mr. Krupp. "You look all hungry. Why don't you come to my office, for a nice treat!"

"No thank you, uncle." said Em.

"You need to have something to eat," said Mr. Krupp. "You won't have to worry about anybody who is out to harm you."

Em reluctantly got up and followed her uncle to his office, not wanting to risk any of the other kindergartners getting punished unjustly.

Ch. 21

The Fun Begins

In the afternoon, George and Harold asked to be excused, so they could use the restroom. They only had five minutes to get everything set up, and this didn't give them a whole lot of time, so they had to be quick. They opened the locked door to their secret stall, where Harold got the roll of paper towels while George climbed up on to the stilts. Then they quickly sneaked out into the hallway.

George stilt-walked over to Kipper's locker, after grabbing the roll of self-lining paper towels from Harold, and carefully placed it on top of the lockers. Then he rolled it down toward Harold, who caught it and taped it to the side of the lockers. Then he took measurements with a ruler. Then George put the padlock he, Harold and Em bought on the end of the paper, two lockers down from Kipper's locker. Now, they were ready, so they went back to the restroom, to their stall and put their supplies back into it and hurried back to their classroom.

Once the bell rang to signal the end of today's school hours, Kipper hurried over to his locker as usual. He unlocked his padlock with the key hanging around his neck, then he put his padlock on top of his locker (right on the long roll of paper). George and Harold were standing about six lockers away, where the end of the roll was taped to the side of the long row of lockers. Em was hiding behind a trash can at one end of the hallway, keeping watch, and at the same time, keeping her distance from George and Harold, for their safety. Now came the tricky part.

As Harold provided "cover," George carefully pulled the long roll of paper toward him. The paper started moving. Kipper's padlock, which was right above his head, started moving away from him, while George, Harold and Em's padlock started moving toward Kipper. Harold had measured everything carefully, so George knew to pull the paper exactly twenty-four inches. Once George finished pulling, the new padlock was directly above Kipper's head. Kipper had finished putting all of his stolen money into his duffel bag. He put his cell phone on the top shelf of his locker, closed the door, then reached up and grabbed George, Harold and Em's padlock. Once he made sure his door was closed, he clicked the new padlock on securely.

"Let's boogie!" said Kipper to his buddies, as they strutted down to the gymnasium to get ready for wrestling practice.

Once Kipper and his buddies were out of sight, Em started walking toward George and Harold, with a victorious smile on her face.

"Great job, you two," she said. "Kip never even suspected a thing!"

"Yeah, that was _AWESOME_!" said Harold.

"Yeah," said George. "But we can't stop now, we still have alot of work to do!"

So the three kindergartners waited patiently until almost everybody had gone home. Some kids were still in the gym, outside or in the chess club downstairs, but for the most part, the hallways and restrooms were empty. Then they sneaked over to Kipper's locker, unlocked their padlock, and opened the door. Harold unzipped the duffel bag and emptied it of all of the stolen money onto the floor.

"Whoa!" said Harold. "There must be at least a thousand dollars here!"

So he quickly scooped up all the stolen money while George typed on Kipper's cell phone.

"What are you doing with that phone?" asked Harold.

"I'm sending a text to Kipper's goons!" said George with a mischievous grin.

"Oh no!" said Em in mock horror.

Once the money was safe and the texts were sent, Em handed the envelope to George, who put it on the top shelf of Kipper's locker. Then Harold put the Susie Sunshine Bracelet Kit in Kipper's locker. After George made sure the envelope was next to Kipper's phone, the three kindergartners closed Kipper's locker door and locked it with Kipper's padlock. Then they set everything up so it would be ready for tomorrow afternoon.

"We'd better get outta here." said Harold nervously.

"There's just one more thing to do." said Em.

She handed George and Harold another envelope, with a smug grin. Then George and Harold sneaked into the gym, and over to the mens' locker room and placed the envelope inside Kipper's shoes. Then they, along with Em, left the school and began walking to their respective houses.

"I wish we could stay and watch the show unfold!" said Harold.

"Me, too," George admitted. "But it's too risky to stay. Plus, it would increase suspicions if we stayed!"

"Yeah," said Em. "Even I shouldn't stay. There's always the possibility Kip would ask me for any info, and I can't risk telling him. I'm not interested in selling you two out."

Ch. 22

Things Get Ugly

Wrestling practice was finally over for the day, so Kipper and the rest of the wrestling team headed for the locker room. Kipper spotted the envelope in his shoe.

"Huh, where this come from?" he asked himself, baffled.

Kipper opened the envelope, which had a couple friendship bracelets and a note inside. He slipped the bracelets onto his wrist proudly, admiring them. He couldn't wait to show his buddies. Then he read the note, which said:

 _Dear Kipper,_

 _We made these friendship braselets 4U beecuse we think U R totely cool and stuff._

 _Love,_

 _The Cheerleeders_

"COOOLLLLLLLL!" said Kipper ecstatically.

Meanwhile, Loogie, Bugg and Finkstein were out in the hallway, checking the cell phones, reading a text message that Kipper supposedly sent to them, much to their shock. The text messages said:

 _Lets make friendship braselets! Get ur supplise at my locker. Whoevr makes the prittyest one gets a big kiss from ME!_

"What... how... is he..." said Loogie, Bugg and Finkstein in unison, who were at a loss for words.

"Look what I got!" said Kipper, proudly waving his wrist at his goons.

Kipper's cronies looked at Kipper and the text messages several times, baffled.

" _What?_ " said Kipper. "They're just friendship bracelets!"

Loogie, Bugg and Finkstein just looked at Kipper like he'd gone mad.

"Uh, I don't wanna make friendship bracelets with you, dude." said Loogie.

"Yeah, me neither." said Bugg and Finkstein simultaneously.

"What are you talking about?" asked Kipper, who walked to his locker and opened it up. " _HEY! WHAT THE HECK IS THIS? HAS SOMEBODY BEEN IN MY LOCKER?"_

Loogie, Bugg and Finkstein saw the Susie Sunshine Friendship Bracelet Kit inside Kipper's locker, then they shook their heads in disgust. Kipper kicked the kit into the hallway and stomped on it. Then he tore his duffel bag open which, to his horror, was empty.

"AUUGGGHHHH!" screamed Kipper. "SOMEBODY TOOK ALL THE MONEY!"

Then he looked up and down the hall frantically.

"When I find out who did this," Kipper continued. "Whoever's been in my locker, I'm gonna... I'm gonna..."

"Kiss them?" asked Finkstein as he, Loogie and Bugg started laughing.

This resulted in Kipper turning around and grabbing Finkstein by his shirt collar. Then he shook him back and forth like a rag doll.

"What are you _TALKING ABOUT_?!" Kipper screamed.

"This!" said Finkstein as he showed the text message to Kipper.

"WHAT, I-I-I didn't WRITE THAT!" Kipper screamed again.

"Well, what's up with those friendship bracelets on your wrist, then?" asked Bugg.

"The-The cheerleaders gave me those!" said Kipper. "I'll prove it!"

At that moment, the cheerleaders came inside from practice. Kipper showed them the friendship bracelets, waving his wrist at them like a lunatic.

"You made these for me, right?" Kipper asked them, desperately, pointing to the friendship bracelets.

The cheerleaders just gave him a strange look.

"Eeeeww," said Wendy Swan, the head cheerleader. "We didn't even make those!"

Kipper blinked his eyes several times like a crazy person as the cheerleaders walked to the women's locker rooms. Kipper started clenching his fists as he shook with rage. Kipper's friends glanced at one another, exchanging silent, worried looks. They started backing away from Kipper, fearing that he might explode.

"Well, we'll see ya later, _Susie Sunshine_!" said Loogie.

He, Bugg and Finkstein walked away laughing, leaving Kipper alone and frenzied. Finally, Kipper returned to his locker, grabbed his cell phone and found an envelope beside it. He tore it open with insane rage, and started reading it, which said:

 _I'm coming for you!_

 _Signed, Wedgie Magee_

Ch. 23

Who Is Wedgie Magee?

Meanwhile, George, Harold and Em stopped by a thrift store on their way home. They looked around for some dresses. They found three which were still in good condition, so they picked them up and carried them to the checkout counter. The cashier looked at George and Harold very strangely.

"What are these dresses for?" she asked.

"They're for school." said Em.

"Oh okay," said the cashier.

When the three kindergartners got to George's house, they walked up to George's room and started counting all of the money Kipper stole from the other kindergartners. It totaled $916.00, much to their surprise.

"I feel like Robin Hood!" said George.

"I wonder what we shall do with all this dough!" said Harold.

"We should use it for all the other kindergartners lunch," suggested Em. "That's what it was supposed to be used for in the first place!"

"Great idea," said Harold. "This will help solve the hunger problem for them."

"Yeah," said George. "I've got an awesome idea for lunch!"

So he picked up the phone and called the Piqua Pizza Palace.

"Yes, could you guys deliver some pizza's to the elementary school around noon tomorrow?" he said. "Really? Awesome! We'll take five large cheese pizzas, five large pepperoni, five large sausage, and five large black olive and pineapple. Yeah, the payment will be arranged for in the morning, it will be in cash. Just deliver them to the cafeteria. Alright, thank you. You, too!"

Harold and Em started smiling just as George finished and hung up.

"Well," George continued. "We're all set for lunch tomorrow!"

"Cool!" said Harold.

"Awesome!" said Em.

The next morning, George and Harold walked to the Piqua Pizza Palace on the way to school. Em couldn't accompany them, due to her brother and his friends having to help escort her to school. The Piqua Pizza Palace didn't open until 11:00 AM, but it didn't matter. George pulled out an envelope that was filled with money, coupons, specified instructions (just in case they forgot where at in the school to deliver it), and a tip for the delivery guy. Then he dropped all of it into the mail slot on the front door.

Then George and Harold continued walking to school, since they have a busy day ahead of them. They got to school early and unlocked the door to their secret restroom stall. As they finished unloading their supplies and arranging the stilts, they heard the sounds of the other students beginning to arrive. Today _sounded_ just like any other day, but things at Jerome Horwitz Elementary School were starting to change.

Kipper was standing by the front entrance as usual, but he wasn't just stealing money from the kindergartners like he normally did. Now, he also wanted information. He looked as though he didn't get much sleep the night before. Kipper's goons kept their distance, looking worried that Kipper's temper would explode any minute. Kipper grabbed every kid who came to the front door and asked them all the same question: "Who is Wedgie Magee?"

While nobody outside the school heard of Wedgie Magee, inside the school, George and Harold were busy spreading the rumor about the mysterious stranger.

"Hey, did you hear about Wedgie Magee?" George asked Harold loudly near a group of gossipy girls.

"Yeah," said Harold, even louder. "I heard about that possibility of him being a _GHOST_!"

"Me, too," said George. "Rumor also has it that Wedgie Magee haunts the hallways of this very school, looking for REVENGE!"

"I wonder who he is seeking revenge against!" said Em as she approached George and Harold.

"Against Kipper Krupp!" cried George in a booming, frantic whisper.

"Oh, my," said Em in mock terror. "I do wonder why!"

"I heard that he got _CURSED_ by the ghost of Wedgie Magee," George continued as the gossipy girls listened more intently. "It could be any kind of curse!"

"Oh, heavens, no," cried Harold. "What for?"

"For being mean to the kindergartners," said George. "Legend also says that Wedgie Magee is the patron ghost of kindergartners!"

"Oh, my goodness," said Em. "I never knew that. Poor, _poor_ , Kipper!"

George, Harold and Em walked away, shaking their heads with pity. The gossipy girls were wide-eyed, having been rendered uncharacteristically speechless. As fast as possible, they sent frantic texts to all of their friends about the horrible Wedgie Magee. Within an hour, the whole school knew the terrible truth about Wedgie Magee, and it didn't take long before the information made it's way to Kipper and his friends.

"That's _stupid_!" said Kipper. "There's no such thing as ghosts!"

"Y-Yeah," said Loogie. "But I heard he can go through walls, and even lockers!"

"Yeah," said Bugg. "Maybe he was the one who stole all of that money yesterday!"

"That's a buncha _BUNK_!" said Kipper. "What's a ghost gonna do with money?"

"I don't know, maybe give it back to the kindergartners," said Finkstein. "It's been said that he was a friend to all of the kindergartners!"

"Uh, excuse me," said a pizza delivery guy who was holding twenty large pizza boxes. "I'm supposed to deliver these pizzas to the kindergartners. Do you know where the cafeteria is?"

"Down the hall," said Kipper. "But, who ordered them?"

"I have no clue," said the delivery guy. "I never did see him. His name must've been _Wedgie_ something."

"Y-You n-never... s-saw h-him?!" Kipper gasped.

"Nope," said the delivery guy. " _Nobody's_ seen him, but he sure is a great tipper!"

Lunchtime was a great success. All the kindergartners loved their pizza and pop, and none of them seemed to mind that it had all been bought and paid for by a ghost. Now, the kindergartners were finally getting something for lunch instead of starving themselves, even if they did so reluctantly.

"I hope that one day, this ghost friend of ours makes himself visible to us!" said Donnie Shoemyer, and the other kindergartners couldn't agree more.

Soon, lunchtime for the kindergartners ended, and they all started walking back to their respective classrooms, with full tummies. Em was stopped by her uncle in the hallway.

"Emily," he asked. "What's all this talk about this Wedgie Magee?"

"Just something about him being a ghost, uncle," said Em. "It's said that he's a great friend to the kindergartners!"

"Where did you hear that?" asked Mr. Krupp.

"Many of the students have been discussing it," said Em. "So it's difficult to tell who exactly started the rumor."

"Well, don't listen to all that," said Mr. Krupp. "Gossip is a bad thing."

"Yes, uncle." said Em.

So she continued walking back to class while her uncle walked back to his office.

Ch. 24

Things Get Uglier

After school, Kipper went to his locker and unlocked it. He, once again, put it on top of his locker. And just like yesterday, George pulled on the long strip of paper, switching Kipper's padlock for their own. Kipper grabbed George, Harold and Em's padlock, clicked it closed on his locker, and pulled it hard to make sure it was really locked. It was, so he walked to the gym for wrestling practice. Once the hallways were empty, George and Harold got back to work and unlocked Kipper's locker, Harold filled it up with the pretty lacy dresses, making sure their bows looked beautiful, and their ruffles were just right. George texted on Kipper's phone, sending a different text message to his friends. Em walked out of her hiding spot, walked up to George and Harold, handed George another envelope. Then George set it next to Kipper's phone. Once everything was done, Em locked up her brother's locker with his padlock. Then the three kindergartners left the school for home.

"Are you sure we shouldn't stay here and watch all the fun?" asked Harold.

"Yeah, we can't stay here," stated George. "Things are about to get uglier. It's too risky to stay."

"It's not worth getting in trouble for this!" said Em.

Once wrestling practice ended at 4:30 PM, Kipper's goons headed off to their lockers and turned on their cell phones. As they had suspected, there was another text message from Kipper, which said:

 _Let's play princess! I got pritty dresses 2 try on after practiss. XOXOXOXO_

This shocked them, thinking Kipper was losing it. By the time Kipper got to his locker, he knew something was wrong.

" _NOW WHAT?!_ " he yelled.

"Sorry, dude," said Loogie. "But I'm not interested in playing _dress up_ with you!"

"Yeah, _Princess_!" said Finkstein.

The three cronies just chuckled, until Kipper grabbed Bugg's phone and stared at the text message on his phone.

"I-I DIDN'T WRITE THIS!" Kipper screamed. "And I DON'T have any _DRESSES_ in my locker either! I'll _PROVE_ it to YOU!"

So he unlocked his locker and opened the door... revealing three of the prettiest dresses ever, much to Kipper's surprise. Loogie, Bugg and Finkstein just laughed as Kipper closed the door. He waited a few seconds to make sure he opened the right one. When he opened it again, the dresses were still there.

" _SOMEBODY_ IS MESSING WITH ME!" Kipper screamed again, as he started ripping the dresses out of his locker and whipped them to the floor.

"Maybe you're just getting in touch with your feminine side." said Loogie as he, Bugg and Finkstein burst into hysterical laughter.

"Laugh it up, chumps!" yelled Kipper as he searched the top shelf of his locker. Clear enough, he found another envelope. He ripped it open and read it out loud:

 _There is no escape!_

 _Signed, Wedgie Magee_

Kipper's friends stopped laughing and looked at the note.

"Dude," said Bugg. "Maybe you really DID get cursed!"

"At least the curse is a funny one." said Loogie.

Ch. 25

Things Get Even Uglier

Another day, another awesome lunch for George, Harold, Em and the rest of the kindergartners. Besides pizza, the Piqua Pizza Palace delivery guys also brought salad and bread sticks, and the kindergartners couldn't be happier. At the end of the day, when wrestling practice ended, Kipper's friends rushed to their lockers as fast as they could, wondering what they believe Kipper is going to do today. They weren't disappointed, as they saw another text from Kipper, which said:

 _U R invited 2 my pritty dolly tea party. If U need 2 borow a dolly, meet me at my locker. I got Xtras. XOXO_

Kipper was already angry when he reached his locker. Seeing his goons laughing, he could tell something was not right.

"What is it this time?" he demanded. "WHAT'S WITH THE LAUGHING?!"

"Dude," said Loogie. "Can I bring a teddy bear to your tea party, or it just for dollies only?!"

The three cronies laughed harder. Kipper grabbed Loogie's phone and read the message.

"I... DIDN'T... WRITE...THIS!" screamed Kipper wildly. "And I DON'T have any DOLLS in my locker, either!"

So he grabbed the key from his key chain around his neck, unlocked his padlock, and threw the locker door open with a mighty crash, with about twenty dolls tumbling out onto the floor into a pile, right at Kipper's feet. He was so shocked that he didn't do anything, he just looked at the mountain of dolls at his feet. Kipper's friends started to back away slowly, seeing him breathing heavily and began twitching, starting at his feet. Soon, it started making it's way up his legs. By the time it reached his upper body, Kipper was trembling like a volcano that was on the verge of erupting. He was now squeezing his fists into tight knots of fury. Then, he started kicking at the dolls.

"I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!" screamed Kipper as he punted the dollies up and down the hallway.

Kipper's friends backed away more and more, they had never seen Kipper freak out like this before. Kipper grabbed two of the bigger dolls and swung them around and around, smashing them against his locker door and just about anything close by. Then he started tearing them up, then began biting them, and finally came the stomping and decapitating. Loogie, Bugg and Finkstein turned around and ran away as fast as they could.

Finally, after a solid fifteen minutes of rampaging, Kipper collapsed, exhausted, in a pile of fluffy polyester filling, shredded dolly dresses, and tiny plastic arms, legs, and heads. Kipper just sat there, breathing slowly for a while, and staring at nothing. Then, he finally figured out the mysteries of the age. He stood up and grabbed his padlock from the top of his locker. Carefully, he turned it over and over again, examining it very closely.

"A-HA!" exclaimed Kipper.

Ch. 26

Things Get Ugliest

Things were already back to normal on Thursday. Kipper stood in front of the school and made every kindergartner hand over their lunch money.

"Things are gonna be different around here," Kipper told the children. "Starting tomorrow, taxes are going up. It'll be four bucks a day, or it's wedgie time for you!"

Kipper's three goons kept their distance as Kipper continued shaking the kindergartners down. Once he finished, they approached nervously.

"Dude," said Loogie. "What are you doing?"

"I'm taking back what's rightfully _MINE!_ " said Kipper.

"But what about that ghost, Wedgie Magee?" asked Bugg.

"There is no ghost of Wedgie Magee, you idiot," said Kipper. "That's just a set up. I figured that out yesterday. Somebody had been picking my padlock and putting stuff in my locker."

"But, who would do that?" asked Finkstein.

"The same person who's been writing those stupid text messages on my cell phone," said Kipper. "But it's going to end today!"

"How?" asked Loogie, Bugg and Finkstein in unison.

"I GOT myself a NEW padlock!" said Kipper, reaching into his pocket and pulled out a brand-new Supa-Doopa Combo Lock 2000. "This is totally pick proof!"

So he and his four thugs walked into the school and headed for the lockers. Kipper unlocked his old padlock and threw it away, along with the key that he'd been keeping around his neck. Then, Kipper put his all-new pick-proof combination padlock on his locker and clicked it shut.

"Let's see somebody try to mess with me NOW!" Kipper sneered.

At noon, when the pizza delivery guy showed up with lunch for the kindergartners, Kipper and his goons stopped him in the hallway.

"We'll take those pizzas!" said Kipper.

"But I'm supposed to take them to the kindergartners!" said the delivery guy.

"We'll take care of it for you!" insisted Kipper.

"Sorry, strict instructions from..." said the delivery guy.

" _Oh, Uncle Benny!_ " yelled Kipper.

Principal Krupp came stomping up the hallway, with thundering footsteps getting louder and louder as he came closer and closer.

"What's the problem, Kipper?" he asked.

"This guy is delivering pizza to the kindergartners," said Kipper. "Is he allowed to do that?"

"Absolutely NOT," said Mr. Krupp. "Those kids are on diets!"

"See?" said Kipper. "Now _gimme_ those!"

Kipper and his goons took the pizza and the pop from the delivery guy. Then they brought it to the cafeteria and started stuffing their faces with the pizza, making sure to rub it in the kindergartners faces, leaving them downhearted.

" _MMMMMMMM,_ " said Kipper to the hungry kindergartners. "This pizza sure is _tasty_!"

He, Loogie, Bugg and Finkstein devoured eight whole pizzas between them, and they also finished fourteen cans of pop. Then they sold the leftovers to some of the other students.

"Too bad the _KINDERGARTNERS_ can't buy any," Kipper laughed. "They don't have the money, now do they?"

George, Harold and Em were heartbroken. They had already seen Kipper's new padlock and it never left Kipper's hand when it was unlocked... not even for one second. Then Kipper spotted Em and grabbed her hand.

"Come along, Emily," said Kipper. "Uncle Benny doesn't want _you_ going hungry!"

So Em reluctantly got up and walked with Kipper to their uncle's office, leaving the other kindergartners even more heartbroken. Soon, lunch time was over, so the kindergartners left for their respective classrooms.

"Well, I guess the jig is up!" said Harold sadly.

"It's not over 'til _WE_ say it's over," said George with determination in his voice. "We need to think of something, and _fast!_ "

Ch. 27

Foamy, White Ectoplasm

After school, George and Harold waited until the hallways were empty. Then they opened their secret stall in the boys' restroom. George had an idea. He climbed onto the stilts, and Harold pulled the pants all the way up to the top of George's head. Then George tried walking around, looking out the zipper with one eye.

"Well, how do I look?" he asked.

"I'm not sure," said Harold. "You kinda look like an afro with legs."

"Hmmmm," said George. "Maybe I need a haircut!"

George's idea, unfortunately, had to wait until tomorrow. Fortunately, they had a backup plan. They ran to a convenience store up the street and bought four cans of shaving cream and a box of bendy straws. Then they ran back to the school. In their hurry, they almost ran into Em.

"Sorry!" said George and Harold in unison.

"It's all good," said Em. "What's with the shaving cream and straws?"

"We came up with a backup plan," said George. "We thought we'd fill Kipper and his goons' lockers with shaving cream, to look like ectoplasm."

"And these bendy straws will prevent the shaving cream from spreading to unnecessary areas." said Harold. "But we gotta work fast!"

So they got to work once they made to where Kipper and his goons' lockers were. Then Em stuck a straw into her brother's locker and attached the other end into the spray nozzle and started spraying. George did the same with Loogie's locker, and Harold with Bugg's locker. Once the cans were empty, the three went over to Finkstein's locker and filled it up with the last can of shaving cream. Once they were finished, George and Harold hid the empty shaving cream cans in their secret stall in the boys' restroom. Then they ran out the back door of the school, toward the football field, screaming their heads off. The cheerleaders had just finished practice when they saw George, Harold and Em were screaming and running around like lunatics.

"What's wrong?" asked one of the cheerleaders.

"W-W-W-We just saw a g-g-g-ghost!" cried George

"Y-Y-Yeah!" cried Harold. "He was in the hallway by the lockers!"

"What did he look like?" asked the cheerleaders simultaneously, looking frightened.

"He was invisible," cried Em. The only c-c-clue was that he left a trail of foamy, white ectoplasm in his p-p-p-path!"

The cheerleaders screamed. They were terrified, but they were also curious, so they huddled together in a tight, shivering group as they tiptoed into the school to see for themselves. Everything appeared to be normal, but they still screamed alot anyway. One of them pushed the button on the drinking fountain, and when some water squirted out, they all screamed some more.

"What's going on?" yelled Kipper.

"Th-Th-There's a ghost up here!" cried Wendy Swan. "Some little kids saw it!"

"That's ridiculous," yelled Kipper. "Ghosts aren't real!"

He and his buddies laughed arrogantly as they unlocked their lockers and opened the doors. Suddenly, four giant waves of foamy, white shaving cream splashed out into the hallway.

"FOAMY, WHITE ECTOPLASM!" yelled the cheerleaders as they ran for their lives.

" _Ectoplasm?_ " cried Bugg "I've heard of that! Th-Th-That's _ghost juice!_ "

"I-I-I got _ghost juice_ on my pants!" Loogie wailed as he burst into tears.

"GET IT OFF! GET IF OFF! GET IT OFF!" screamed Finkstein as he started jumping around, swatting the shaving cream off his legs frantically. " _I HATE GHOST JUICE!_ "

"THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS GHOSTS!" Kipper yelled.

It was no use. Loogie, Bugg and Finkstein slammed their lockers shut and screamed in horror as they slipped and slid in the foamy, white ectoplasm. The three terrified thugs tumbled down the stairs, tripping, shoving and elbowing each other as they struggled to glide out the front door. Kipper was left at his wits end. He plopped down on the floor in the middle of the hallway and curled up into a shivering ball.

"UNCLE BENNY!" he wailed.

Mr. Krupp came marching into the hall, with thundering footsteps as usual.

"What's wrong? What's wrong?" he asked.

Kipper pointed to the ectoplasm and told his uncle the terrifying story.

"That's a buncha _BUNK!_ " yelled Mr. Krupp. "That's shaving cream, not ectoplasm!"

"Shaving cream?" said Kipper. "B-But how did it get into our lockers?"

"Somebody probably sprayed it into the vents of the doors," said Mr. Krupp. "It's the oldest trick in the book yet!"

Kipper studied the vents on the locker door as his passive, fearful expression slowly turned into a venomous visage of violence. Now Kipper was _REALLY_ mad.

That afternoon at Harold's house, George, Harold and Em wrote, illustrated and colored a brand-new comic book. Once they were finished, they printed out four copies of each page on Harold's printer. The comic book copies needed to look very old, so George, Harold and Em took a large bowl outside and filled it with water. Harold added two handfuls of dirt and eight teaspoons of coffee crystals into the water, then Em began stirring it, while George carefully tore the edges of each page, then crumpled them up all up into little balls and soaked them in the giant bowl of filthy water. After each page was totally soaked, the three friends carefully clipped them in the garage so they could dry overnight.

"What on earth are you three doing?" asked Harold's mom.

"It's for school." said Harold.

"Oh." said Harold's mom.

Once they were done, the three friends went back inside Harold's house, where George picked up a phone and dialed the number for the Piqua Pizza Palace.

"Now we gotta order four pizzas!" said George.

" _Order pizzas?_ " cried Harold. "Kipper and his goons will just steal them again!"

"That's what I'm counting on." said George with a devilish grin.

"Uh oh!" said Em in mock horror.

George waited until the manager picked up the line at the other end.

"Yes, I'd like four large pizzas for tomorrow," said George. "What's the hottest kind of chili peppers you guys have? _Ghost_ chili peppers? Hmmmm. Can we get _double_ ghost chili peppers on each pizza? Cool!"

Once the pizzas were ordered, it was time for George's haircut. Harold went to the closet and found the clippers and scissors that his mom always used to cut his hair with. Harold never cut anybody's hair before, but he was more than willing to give it a try, plus, Em was there to help.

"Just make the top part flat," George instructed. "That way, it doesn't stick out when I wear the stilt pants!"

"We'll do the best we can!" said Harold and Em in unison.

So Harold clipped while Em dealt with the cutting. Once they were finished, George looked at himself in the mirror, with a smile on his face.

"I LOOK _AWESOME_!" George exclaimed. "I'm gonna keep my hair like this from now on!"

And he always did from that day on.

Ch. 28

When Kipper Gets Angry... Really, Really Angry

By the next morning, George, Harold and Em's comic books were dry enough to get the pages stapled together. First, they sprinkled each page with baby powder to make them look all dusty and prehistoric. Then they got the pages of each comic book stapled together.

"Wow," said Harold. "This looks like something from the 1980s or something!"

Friday morning was turning out to be the worst day ever for the kindergartners. George, Harold and Em had been trying to make things better for their fellow kindergartners, but all it really did was turn Kipper and his gang in MONSTERS. After Kipper told his goons about the shaving cream prank, they were really angry, too. The bullies knew they were being pranked, they just didn't know who it was. They were determined to make every kindergartner's life as miserable as possible until they find out who the mastermind behind that pranks was.

"HEY, where's my eight bucks?!" Kipper yelled at Donny Shoemyer, who was, unfortunately, the first kindergartner to be spotted.

"I-I thought y-y-you said _four_ dollars!" said Donny nervously.

"Yeah, well, TAXES have just went up again," said Kipper through gritted teeth. "And they'll continue until I catch the pranksters!"

"You never said a-a-anything..." Donny started saying, getting more and more terrified.

"Don't be a smart aleck," growled Kipper while his cronies gave Donny one of the worst wedgies of his life. "That'll be twelve on Monday, or _else!_ "

The rest of the kindergartners (minus Em) received similar treatment. It was unfortunate because neither one of them knew who the prankster was. At lunchtime, the Piqua Pizza Palace delivery guy showed up with four large pizzas.

"Hey!" shouted Kipper. "There are only four pizzas!"

"That's all Mr. Magee ordered!" said the delivery guy.

"What a _cheapskate_!" sneered Kipper. "Just hand 'em over, bub!"

"Alright," said the delivery guy. "But, I must warn you that the pizzas are really, REALLY HOT!"

"They'd _better_ be hot," yelled Kipper. "I hate cold pizza!"

Kipper yanked the pizzas out of the delivery guy's hands and headed to the cafeteria. He gave three of the pizzas to his buddies (they decided they get one pizza each). Then they started eating it in a gloating manner.

"MMMMMM, look at all the tasty pizza," said Kipper to the hungry kindergartners. "I'll bet you're starving! Aww, that's _too_ bad!"

Kipper, Loogie, Bugg and Finkstein continued scarfing down their pizzas, smiling obnoxiously as they continued chewing it all up in front of the disappointed kindergartners.

"Whew! This pizza's kinda hot." said Finkstein as he swallowed harshly and wiped sweat off his forehead.

"Y-Yeah," said Loogie. "This pizza is _really_ hot!"

"Ooooh, oww, owww," cried Kipper. "This pizza is WAY TOO HOT!"

"AHHHH," wailed Bugg. "IT BURNS! IT BURNS! OOOOOO! OOOO! OOOOOOOOO!"

All of a sudden, the bullies' exaggerated smiles morphed into bug-eyed expressions of sheer horror. They frantically began wiping their tongues with their hands, but it was too late, the ghost chili's had already done their damage. Kipper and his terror-stricken buddies stampeded to the drinking fountain, waving their arms and shrieking like a cackle of panicked hyenas. They pushed and shoved each other in a desperate attempt to splash cold water onto their tongues. Neither of the bullies had any success with the water, so they started picking up milk cartons and poured the milk into their mouths, one after another. When the milk was gone, the bullies dropped to the floor, grunting, wailing and crying for their mommies as they tried licking up all the milk on the floor that splattered during their frenzy. The whole event had been videotaped by about twenty kids with their cell phones and they posted them online before the end of the lunch period.

Kipper, Loogie, Bugg and Finkstein spent the next two hours in the nurse's office, holding ice packs on their tongues while crying like toddlers. They were starting to feel better by the time the school day was over. Luckily, they were fully recovered in time for wrestling practice.

Ch. 29

Something Wedgie This Way Comes

At 2:45 PM, the final bell rang, signalling the end of the day. So George and Harold ran to their secret stall and grabbed two large empty glass jars. Then they, along with Em, headed out toward the groundskeeper's shed. There were always a ton of spiders back there, and the three kindergartners worked hard to safely capture them, as many as they could.

"We'd better hurry," said George. "It looks likes it's gonna rain!"

Once they had collected about twenty spiders in each jar, George, Harold and Em ran back upstairs to where Kipper and his goons' lockers were located. Luckily, it was empty, so Harold got out a sheet of paper and placed it under one of lower vent slots of Kipper's locker. Then, George opened a jar and sprinkled a few spiders onto the paper as Harold blew softly. About ten spiders gently slid across the paper and into the darkened depths of the locker. Then they did the same with Loogie's, Bugg's and Finkstein's lockers. George, Harold and Em knew it takes about an hour for a spider to build a web. They checked an overhead clock, which told them that they had forty-four minutes left, before wrestling practice was over.

"I hope the spiders work fast!" said Harold.

"Me, too," said George. "We still have work to do!"

"I'll keep watch and keep you covered." said Em.

"Great idea, Em!" said George and Harold in unison.

"But, how will you be able to do that?" asked Harold.

"Your uncle and brother could tell it's you!" said George.

"I do have an idea," said Em as she reached up and pulled her hair-band off and started shaking her head a couple times, letting her blonde hair fall to her shoulders. "Since Kip and Uncle Benny normally see my hair in that ponytail, they won't suspect me to be involved. I'll even pretend to read a book, to make sure no one is suspicious!"

"Excellent!" said George and Harold in unison.

"I think I'll discontinue the ponytail and keep my hair like this from now on, forever!" said Em.

And since that day, she always did. So George and Harold sneaked into the boy's locker room next to the gym. They found Kipper's deodorant stick, with Harold pulling the cap off and twisting the dial until the deodorant stick stuck all the way out of the canister. Then George pulled it off and threw it into the trash can.

Next, he opened up a package of jalapeno cream cheese and started packing it into the deodorant canister with a spoon. Then Harold molded the cream cheese into shape with his fingers, then he popped the cap back on. Then, the same thing was done to the deodorants belonging to Loogie, Bugg and Finkstein. Once that was taken care of, George and Harold put the deodorants back in place, then they rushed off to their secret restroom stall, as it was becoming more evident that time was running out. George climbed onto the stilts while Harold grabbed the ancient-looking comic books and an old walkie-talkie. Then they sneaked back into the hallway, while Em kept watch. Then Harold slid a comic book into Kipper's locker, then to Loogie's, then Bugg's and finally Finkstein's, while George placed the walkie-talkie on top of the lockers, then he pumped up the volume. They finished just as wrestling practice ended. Dark clouds were beginning to gather outside, and a distant thunder rumbled from miles away. A terrible storm was coming.

Meanwhile, back in the locker room, Kipper and his cronies changed their clothes, then they smeared some "deodorant" on, and strutted out to their lockers. Lightning was beginning to flash outside, filling the school with crackling bursts of fluorescence's. The four bullies unlocked their locker doors and swung them open, just as a deafening thunderclap rocked the school hallway. _CRASH!_ The terror-stricken tyrants stared in horrified astonishment at their spiderweb-caked compartments. Loogie was the first to freak out because he was an arachnophobic.

"L-L-L-Lockers! H-H-H-Haunted! S-S-S-Spiders!" he managed to blurt out.

The thunder clapped some more, with an flash of lightning, causing the four ruffians to shriek in panic. Loogie was losing it. He was flicking his fingers wildly as he stood in place, leaning from side to side, impulsively raising one knee to his chest, and then the other.

"We gotta get outta here, dudes," Loogie sobbed. "Seriously, we need to get OUTTA HERE! LET'S GO!"

"Just hold on a doggone minute," Kipper protested. "What's this?"

He carefully reached into his spiderweb-covered locker and pulled out an ancient-looking comic book.

"I don't know," said Bugg. "But, I got one, too!"

"Same here!" said Finkstein.

Loogie was too frightened to speak, even though he had one, too. All he could manage was short bursts of screams as he spaz-danced around the hallway, twitching and jerking like a demented child. Kipper opened the antique comic book and began to read it as another clap of thunder rumbled, along with another flash of lightning. The comic book was called: _The Curse Of Wedgie Magee (A True Storie)_. It starred a kid who was always bullied and went to a gipsy for help, but was accidentally given the wrong potion. This resulted in his pants dissipating, exposing his naked lower body. Everybody laughed, causing the kid to die from extreme embarrassment. The pants became the ghost of Wedgie Magee, who went out to haunt the bullies. There were signs to tell when one has been cursed, followed by specified instructions to undo the curse.

Ch. 30

The Perfect Storm

It was getting darker now, and the storm outside was intensifying. The four bullies stared in knee-melting terror at the dusty, ancient comic book that Kipper was holding, with their mouths hanging open, too shocked and too afraid to move. Finally, Finkstein began scratching his sweaty armpits frantically.

"Dudes," he blurted. "We're _DEAD_ , man! It's _OVER_! Game OVER, man!"

"AHHHH, my pits are burning," cried Bugg. "I must've gotten cursed!"

"Me, too," Loogie squeaked. "M-M-M-Make it g-g-g-go away!"

Kipper looked into the quivering eyes of his three terrified friends. Even his armpits were burning, but he was too terrified to admit it. Another deafening clap of thunder rumbled, causing the light bulbs in the school to flicker twice and shake the building. The bullies held each other as they sobbed uncontrollably.

Inside the restroom, George and Harold could hear the terrified cries of their arch-enemies. They tried their hardest not to laugh, knowing they likely wouldn't be able to stop if they did. Out in the hallway, the toy walkie-talkie clicked with a crackle of static.

" _I am the haunted pants of Wedgie Magee!_ " whispered Harold over the tiny speaker.

"HEY!" cried Kipper. "DID-DID YOU GUYS HEAR THAT?"

" _I'm coming for yooooooou_!" Harold whispered.

"NO! NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Loogie, who was running in small circles, punching his head from some reason.

Lightning flashed once more, with hallways rumbling with thunder. Now, the bullies were completely unhinged. Bugg dropped to the floor, where he curled up into a shivering ball, crying for mother to come and save him.

"L-L-LEAVE US ALONE," Kipper screamed, swinging his fists into the air. "WE'RE _SORRY_!"

Principal Krupp was in a meeting all the way at the other end of the hallway when he heard his nephew's cries.

"Kipper must be in trouble again," growled Mr. Krupp as he slammed a fist on the table. "I'd better get to the bottom of this!"

So he got up from the meeting and stomped out of the room. Kipper and his friends heard thundering footsteps coming from the other side of the school building. It got louder the closer it got.

"Let's hide in the bathroom!" suggested Loogie in terror.

Immediately, the bullies scrambled for the bathroom desperately. Meanwhile in the restroom, George and Harold were still getting ready for their final prank. George was on the stilts and pulled the pants up over his head, while Harold was keeping the stilts steady, unaware that they were about to be ambushed. Suddenly, the door burst open and the bullies tumbled inside. They looked at Harold holding the giant pair of pants in front of them. Everybody froze as another flash of lightning pierced through the darkened clouds, with stomping footsteps coming closer and closer.

"W-W-What are you doing with those pants, kid?" cried Kipper.

Harold wasn't able to come up with an answer. It wasn't supposed to happen this way, they didn't finish yet. For a split second, Harold saw his life flash before his eyes, he and George were going to get caught. The footsteps out in the hallway continued stomping louder and closer. George knew they were in trouble. He couldn't see through the pants. In his panic, he blindly took a wobbly step forward. The bullies freaked out, seeing the giant pair of pants walking toward them.

"GET AWAY FROM THOSE PANTS, KID!" cried Bugg.

Then, as if an angel whispered it into his ear, Harold thought of the perfect thing to say.

"What pants?" he asked.

The giant pair of pants continued to walk forward, frightening Kipper and his friends even more. Suddenly, after another flash of lightning and clap of thunder, the nearby power line was knocked out, and now the school was completely black. Kipper and his thugs scrambled over each other, desperately trying to make their way back into the hallway, unaware that Principal Krupp was coming toward them. He made it to the lockers when the lights went out, causing him to stop stomping. Mr. Krupp stood there in the darkness, breathing heavily and sweating profusely. The four squealing bullies finally made it back into the dark hallway, smashing right into Principal Krupp. In their panic, the bullies thought it was a big, wet, fleshy monster, so they kicked and clobbered him with everything they had. Finally, the four delinquents tumbled down the stairs and dashed out the back door of the school. As they ran across the football field toward their homes, something about the bullies had changed forever. They would never again bully anybody.

Ch. 31

The Wonderful, Happy, Incredibly Delightful Ending

Monday morning was a very stressful morning for Donny Shoemyer. He wasn't able to find the twelve dollars he owed Kipper, so he tried to sneak around to the back entrance, in hopes of avoiding the bully, but Kipper found him anyway.

"Hey kid!" yelled Kipper. "Wait up, I have something for ya!"

Donny pulled the door, but it was locked. He kept pulling away from Kipper, naturally believing this to be a trap.

"I have some money for ya." said Kipper as he handed Donny a five-dollar bill.

Donny stopped pulling the door and looked at the five-dollar bill in Kipper's hand.

"Uh, is this a trick? Is that really for me?" asked Donny.

"No, it's no trick," said Kipper as he continued holding the five-dollar bill out at Donny. "And it's really for you. I'm really sorry I took money from you, kid. I'll do anything to pay you back!"

"Umm... okay!" said Donny as he took the money from Kipper.

As soon as Kipper gave Donny the money, he ran off to the front entrance. Donny eased up, realizing that his morning turned out alot different than he anticipated. The other kindergartners were having similar experiences. Finkstein wasn't only handing out money, he also offered to carry every kindergartner's bookbag to class. Bugg was also handing out money, but he also offered bubble gum for free. Loogie was also distributing money, with the addition of allowing kindergartners to give him as many wedgies as they wanted.

Kipper and his friends eventually paid all of the money back to the kindergartners, and they never bullied anybody ever again as long as they lived. Once George, Harold and Em were certain that Kipper and his friends reformed, they called off the wrath of Wedgie Magee. The terrifying curse had been lifted, everyone was happy, and all was well for the world. I'd like to tell you that this is the end of our story, I really would... but unfortunately, I can't. Seeing that this is the wonderful, happy ending that was _supposed_ to happen... but not what actually _did_ happen.

Remember back in chapter 11, when Tippy Tinkletrousers was fighting Captain Underpants and he accidentally zapped his feet with the Freezy-Beam 4000 to the school's football field? Well, if you recall, Tippy got himself out of a jam by zapping himself back in time, exactly five years earlier. Now, see if you can guess which night occurred _exactly_ five years earlier. If you guessed the night of that thunderstorm that changed the bullies' live forever, you'd be correct. Unfortunately, by some wild and tragic coincidence, Tippy sent himself and his gigantic pair of Robo-Pants back in time to the very moment when Kipper and his friends were running across the football field to their homes. Ignoring the cautious wisdom of the Banana Cream Pie Paradox, Tippy's reckless journey back through time would end up making one, small, seemingly insignificant change. And this one, teeny-tiny, itsy-bitsy change would eventually destroy all hopes for the future of our civilization. As much as I'd hate to do so, we'll have to go back to the darkened hallway of that fateful, stormy night and find out what _REALLY_ happened.

Finally, the four delinquents tumbled down the stairs and dashed out the back door of the school. As they ran across the football field toward their homes, something about the bullies had changed forever. They would never again bully anybody.

Ch. 32

The Terrible, Sad, Incredibly Horrifying Ending

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a ball of blue lightning appeared in front of them. It grew bigger and bigger until it finally exploded in a blinding flash. And right where the ball of lightning had been, stood a giant pair of robotic pants.

"Boy, that was a close one," said Tippy from inside the depths of the Robo-Pants. "Captain Underpants sure is alot stronger than I anticipated!"

Then he unzipped the zipper of his time-traveling trousers and looked out at the world from five years ago. He saw the raging thunderstorm and the four sixth graders who were standing there, trembling beneath his giant robotic feet.

"Hey," shouted Tippy. "You kids look like you've just seen a ghost or something. What's wrong with you?"

"IT's-IT'S-IT'S THE H-HAUNTED P-P-PANTS OF W-W-WEDGIE M-M-MAGEE!" screamed Finkstein, pointing to Tippy's gigantic darkened silhouette. Kipper and his buddies screamed so loud and so high, that only dogs could hear them.

What happened next could only be described by psychologists as "going cuckoo for Cocoa-Puffs." The four sixth graders started falling to their knees, shaking, twitching and uttering complete nonsense as their fragile, eggshell minds began to shatter.

"B-B-Bubba bobba hob-hobba-hobba wah-wah!" cried Kipper as he frantically slapped himself in the face again and again.

Bugg tore off his clothes and began dancing the hula while singing "I'm A Little Teapot" as loud as possible. Loogie started digging a hole in the ground with his teeth, gobbling up enormous fistfuls of dirt and worms. And poor Finkstein just laughed maniacally and happily banged his head into the grass over and over and over and over and over.

"Boy," said Tippy. "Kids sure were weird five years ago."

So he quickly reset the controllers of his Tinkle-Time Travelometer to "Four Years In Da Future" and pressed the "Away We Go!" button. Suddenly, giant sparks of blue lightning shot out from the Robo-Pants. Several special-effects-filled moments later, a blinding flash of light lit up the sky, and the Robo-Pants disappeared.

The next day, Kipper and his friends were admitted to the Piqua Valley Home for the Reality-Challenged. An investigation into their mental breakdowns started, which led the police straight to Mr. Krupp, whose bruised and battered body made everybody VERY suspicious. The cops naturally assumed that Mr. Krupp was somehow behind all of this insanity. Although no formal charges were filed against Mr. Krupp, everyone blamed him anyway. He was fired a few weeks later, never to work as an elementary school principal again, much to a tear-filled Mr. Krupp's sadness.

Ch. 33

Four Years Later...

Four years later, a giant sphere of blue lightning appeared on what used to be an elementary school football field. Soon, the sphere exploded in a blinding flash of light, leaving Tippy and his gigantic pair of Robo-Pants behind. Tippy peeked out through the zipper and looked all around him. He was horrified that Earth had been destroyed. He crawled out and started walking through the destroyed city, inspecting the chaos. All around him, there were littered blown-up moon rocks, torn-up toilets, and skeletal skyscrapers.

"What happened here?" Tippy cried.

When the sun finally rose above the horizon, he saw a sign of life. It was a little preschooler who was walking up a burning boulevard with his mother.

"Hey, kid," yelled Tippy. "What happened here?!"

"Well," the little boy started explaining. "A few weeks ago, some guy in a diaper blew up the moon and tried to take over the world. But a week later, a bunch of talking toilets attacked the city and ate him up. Then a week after that, some spaceship landed on top of the elementary school and all of the kids turned into zombie nerds!"

"I sure wish you'd stop obsessing over such foolish nonsense!" said his mother, who was reading a book titled: American Idol- Behind The Scenes.

"But what about Captain Underpants?" asked Tippy.

"Who's that?" asked the boy.

"He's that big, fat bald guy with the underwear and red cape!" stated Tippy

"I haven't heard of him!" said the boy.

Tippy realized the terrible mistake he made. He knew he needed to fix it, and fast. He needed to return to the past.

"I need to go back and fix whatever caused this to happen!" said Tippy with worry. "Quickly, what do these zombie nerds look like?!"

"Well, they're really strong and powerful... _REALLY_ powerful!" said the boy.

"Yes, yes," said Tippy. "What else about them?"

"They're right behind you!" said the boy.

Tippy turned around and looked behind him, while the little boy ran off. Tippy saw, standing there, were three of the biggest, evilest-looking zombie nerds anyone had ever seen. One of them raised his foot above Tippy's head.

"NOOOOOO!" screamed Tippy. "You can't kill me! I'm the only chance this world has to ever return to normal!"

 _SPLAT!_

Ch. 34

The End (Of The World As We Know It)

When the giant zombie nerd raised his foot again, all that remained was a red squishy stain. That, our dear readers, is the unfortunate end of the Captain Underpants saga. Dr. Diaper blew up the moon, the talking toilets attacked, and the zombie nerds took over Earth. Captain Underpants wasn't there to save the world, because Mr. Krupp wasn't there to get hypnotized by George, Harold and Em. All of the epic adventures we've come to know and love never actually happened. The worst part is that the only chance of making things right has been ruined, for _ALL_ eternity. It is with great sadness that I must tell you that this is the final chapter of the last Captain Underpants epic novel. There won't be anymore adventures of Captain Underpants. The world is now doomed for all eternity...

Or IS IT?!


End file.
